We're All Animals
by yukiislikesnow
Summary: Everyone develops animal traits eventually. Kurt just knows that he's going to be a cat, because anything else would just be ridiculous. (drabbles and one-shots within the same hybrid AU verse)
1. We're All Animals

Rating: PG

Words: 6,419

A/N: I had this idea in my head where everyone in the world has animal traits but it wasn't decided by genetics and this is what happens. As a teenager you develop animal characteristics and it's all based on your personality or fate or something. It's all random. I have so many one-shots planned in this verse.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

Kurt's mother was a cat. She had a plush gray tale and matching ears that paired so nicely with her dark red hair. He remembers lying against her on the couch and playing with her tail for hours. He loved the way it gently swayed and flicked around, teasing him and always just barely escaping his eager fingers. Kurt wanted to be just like her. He imagined himself with a pristine white tail and ears, with maybe a little dark brown on the tips to match his hair. He wanted that extra push of flexibility and effortless grace that came with being a cat.

There was no guarantee though. Your animal features had less to do with what your parents were and more to do with your personality, or fate if you liked. Kurt's father for instance was a bear. He had rounded black furry ears and big nubby tail that poked through the holes in his jeans. But his grandparents were both deer. There were kids at school too that showed up with parents that seemed to come out of left field. But Kurt knew he would be a cat. He just knew it. He was admittedly vain and fixated with his appearance. He was meticulously clean, and ever since he was born he'd had a barely there, you have to squint to see it, point to his ears. It was his fate to be a cat.

He was going to get out of this cow town and he was going to do it ears perked and tail swaying so help him God. And with any luck he'd have Blaine by his side when he did it. Blaine was sure to be some sort of dog. The Warblers were banking on him being a pug but Santana had started a convincing campaign on him being a corgi. Kurt was hoping for a Maltese. But Blaine still had some time. He was a few months younger than Kurt and while there wasn't a set time for your traits to come it, it was pretty common for it to be somewhere around seventeen and a half. Kurt was there now and he could feel the change getting ready to happen. There was a slight ache in his joints that no amount of hot baths or naps could ease. And his nose and ears were feeling warm off and on.

The shrill sound of the bell derailed Kurt's thoughts and sent him scurrying out the door. No glee today. He was free to go home and check himself out. Any slight change, a dry patch of skin, a new plot of freckles, even the way his fingernails grew in, could give him a hint about what he'd be and when it was going to happen. He forwent his locker, swerving at the last moment to avoid Mercedes. It was unfortunate, really it was and Kurt felt sorry for her, but there was only so much he was willing to listen to at the moment. Her rounded leathery ears and the wide expanse of leathery charcoal gray skin that grew across her back and up her shoulder and neck caused quite a few people to start calling her a hippo. Understandably this was upsetting but that was four months ago and she wasn't a hippo she was a Tapir and she should honestly be thankful that she hadn't grown some sort of trunk. Kurt felt for her but he just couldn't see that as a viable excuse to give up his every available hour for "girl" time. She needed to learn to live with it and make it fabulous.

Thankfully she didn't see him. As fed up as he was, he wouldn't just turn her away if she caught his eye. He wasn't that selfish. But she didn't see him so Kurt kept on until he reached his Navigator and wasted no time hoping in and pulling out of McKinley. Finn and Sam were getting a ride with Puck after football practice. Oh God, the football team. It was a mess of different animals. Honestly when he'd first started at McKinley he expected it to be full of rottweilers and bulls, but no, the football team was surprisingly diverse so long as your animal could arguably maul something. David Karofsky, who'd made his life hell since middle school, was a Tasmanian devil and his right hand man Azimio was an alligator. The most non-threatening creature on the team was Finn who had shocked the school by turning into a mountain goat. He'd thankfully only grown the horns and his perfectly normal human ears stayed in tact. He had to shave his beard about twice a day though. The alterations to his football helmet were laughable.

There was a chance he'd grow whiskers. Kurt scrunched up his face and bit his lip. He really, really did not want whiskers. He could pluck them or shave them or something but it'd just be easier if his body worked with him just this once. Kurt wasn't _too_ worried about whiskers because his cheeks weren't itchy. That's what happened to Brittany when she'd grown hers in. His thoughts filled up the silence in the car and had him at his house before he knew it. No one was home yet so he was free to preen naked in front of his bedroom mirror in privacy.

So in a rush to get to his examination, Kurt kicked off his shoes and dumped his bag in a heap by his door. He was only slightly more careful with his clothes. Once he was naked he stood in front of his full length mirror and looked. He didn't look all that different from yesterday but that's how it went. The changes started at a pace slower than a snails then there was a night or two of all over body pain and suddenly you were different. It was different for each person, depending on the animal you turned into and how many traits you inherited. If your ears changed or you grew extra limbs it hurt more and took longer than if you just got some new fur. Finn had confined himself to his room with splitting migraines for three days before emerging with tightly coiled horns. Arty had been out of school for a whole week while his legs fused together in a massive snake's tail. But Santana had just woken up one morning with a long black horses tail and thick black toenails.

Kurt was hoping his transformation wouldn't take too long. He had a lot of things going on at school. Not that he wanted to rush things. You can't rush art. And that's what he was hoping for, a beautiful artistic touch to his already glamorous wardrobe in the form of elegant cat features. Kurt turned a little so he could see his butt and lower back in the mirror. The skin there, in the hollow above his butt, was irritated and pink. He was definitely getting a tail. He let a slow breath out and touched it lightly. Before he went to bed he'd have to get out his sewing kit and start on altering his pants and tights.

Satisfied with that, he turned and looked more closely at his chest, bringing his hand up to smooth from his nipples down across his ribs. Extra nipples were a possible hazard with most animals. With cats it was almost guaranteed. It was another thing he didn't want. He was perfectly happy with just two nipples thank you very much. He couldn't imagine getting another four or six. When Jacob Ben Israel, a stunning example of an early bloomer, showed up in the locker room as a possum with with a grand total of three nipples, all gray and equally disgusting, the school didn't shut up about it for months. That probably had more to do with the sheer hatred for Jacob's existence, but still. Kurt moved closer to the mirror and studied his nipples closely. They looked pinker than normal. Certainly not in danger of turning gray then. Kurt nodded to himself and tilted his head to the side to look at his ears.

The points were becoming more defined. He rubbed across the lobes of his ears, pinching them between his thumbs and pointer fingers. Brittany said her earlobes felt like they were thinning out while they were getting pointed. Kurt couldn't feel a difference at all. But there was still time. His nose was pinking up just fine. He was counting himself lucky on that. He didn't think he could rock a black nose. So the soft pink on the bottom of his nose and around his nostrils was a blessing. His mother's nose had been mostly pink. But she'd had a black spot right in the middle that Kurt had been fascinated with as a kid. He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out slowly. Then, with a nod to himself, Kurt turned away from the mirror and started pulling on some lounge clothes.

**LINEBREAK**

Kurt woke up in a daze of pain. He was achy more than anything but his lower back felt like it was on fire whenever he moved. His tail. Kurt groaned and burrowed deeper under his blankets. There was no way he was going to school today. He drifted off not long after that. He didn't hear his dad come in or notice when Carole left a bottle of water on his nightstand. He was so _tired_. He didn't think he'd ever get enough sleep to make this feeling go away.

It was dark out when Kurt woke up for real. Everything was still a little hazy but Kurt managed to throw his arm out and reach his phone. He had a few texts from everyone in glee wishing him luck, and one from Sue demanding that he come back to the Cheerios if he was something useful. Most of the messages were from Blaine, who'd sent him a text every hour on the hour all day. They were all full of love and encouragement. The last one, the one that woke him up, just said _Courage_. It made Kurt smile like a loon and press his face into his pillow.

Wasn't that a weird feeling. His nose wasn't round and human anymore. Kurt giggled and rose up on his knees. He tossed the phone to the side and shrugged the comforter away from himself. Then the smile slid away from his face. He could feel the definitive lump of a tail under his pajama pants but it wasn't long enough. There was no way it was the long, luxurious white tale of his dreams. With shaking hands Kurt gripped the hem of his pants and held on. A stub tail did not work into his vision. It wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. Rabbits had cute stub tails, and deer, and bears. That's it. It was probably because his dad was a bear. He could work with a stub tail.

With shaking hands Kurt tugged down the back of his pajama pants, just enough to let his tail slip free, and let out a shaky breath. Tears gathered in his eyes, fast and hot. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. Kurt scrambled out of the bed and threw himself at his mirror with his eyes closed. It wasn't a stub tail. He could feel it now. There was no way he was a stub tailed cat. Kurt opened his eyes and took in his new face for the first time. He couldn't stop himself, he started sobbing. Kurt curled forward, still on his knees, and cried. He wasn't a cat. He wasn't a bear or a rabbit or a dog. Kurt straightened his spine, still sobbing, and started hitting the mirror. He screamed through his teeth and gripped the edges of the mirror, shaking it like he could wipe the image of his new face away from it if he just worked hard enough.

He was so lost in his fit that he didn't hear his father running up the stairs. He had no time to hide himself once the door flung open so he just dropped. He curled up on his knees and elbows, back hunched and low, hiding his face from his father. He was still crying, thick and loud, but there was no blocking out the sad 'oh' his father let out once he rounded the bed. He hadn't hidden his tail. Even without seeing Kurt's face Burt would know exactly what he was.

Burt crouched down, face somber, and put his hand on Kurt's back. "It's okay Kurt. It's not that bad. It's not that bad." Kurt screamed and twisted away from his father's hand. He could feel snot clinging to his new nose and it felt so disgusting. A fresh wave of sobs broke through his body and ended in a thick, undeniable snort. His dad was wrong. How could it get any worse than being a pig?

**LINEBREAK**

It took a long time to calm Kurt down. Burt knew he'd had his heart set on being a cat. He honestly hadn't thought any other animal could have been a possibility. His kid acted like a cat. It was just his way. So when Burt heard Kurt screaming and crying up in his room, he assumed something was going on with the tail, or that he was growing nails in weird places. He wasn't prepared to see a curled pink pigs tail coming out of his kids back.

Burt was at a loss. Kurt had always been particular about his appearance. He spent an hour minimum each night on his face alone and God only knows how much time on his clothes. It was rare that people developed traits that really ruined their faces. Not that Kurt's nose was ruined. He hadn't frown a whole freakin' snout. It had just...flattened out a little at the end. It wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. But to Kurt it might as well have been an elephant trunk. It had taken him a good twenty minutes of tugging to get his hands away from his face. Burt honestly had been expecting a full on snout. He knew Kurt wouldn't want to hear it but it did look cute. It made him think of Kurt when he was still just a tiny little thing learning to walk and talk, when his nose was just starting to tip up. But no matter how much he said it wasn't ugly Kurt wasn't having it.

And once Kurt stopped agonizing over his nose he started in on his ears. Which honestly weren't bad at all. Pigs had wide, floppy, veiny ears, and Burt could see that being a problem, but Kurt had come out on top. His ears had a definite point, but they hadn't grown out and curled over. He had like, elf ears, or something. It was less noticeable than the change to his nose. What Burt could sort of agree on was the tail. Tails without fur weren't the best tails. They looked weird. That Burt could give him. But Kurt's tail wasn't some limp shiny rat tail, it was a little curled tail. And maybe the light covering of white peach fuzz hair was too much for him to handle, but it could have been worse. It really could have been. The little curl in his tail took him out of gross rat tail territory into cute territory. And maybe it was wrong of him to think about his son as cute, but it was better than thinking his kid looked disgusting. And he didn't, look disgusting. Kurt was a pig, not a naked mole rat, or a komodo dragon. His fingers hadn't fused together in a pseudo-hoof and he didn't sprout all over body hair so he'd come out as best as possible.

With a sigh Burt scratched his head, then pushed his cap back on and looked over at Kurt. Right now he was huddled into the corner of the couch, knees up to his chin, with a thick gray scarf covering his ears and nose. Finn, for once, had the smarts to keep his mouth shut and was quietly watching tv. Carole was puttering around in the kitchen trying to find something Kurt would eat. Being a pig had sent Kurt wallowing about his weight. Which wasn't the kind of problem Burt wanted to deal with. Kurt didn't have any more fat to lose at this point. He was all grown up and what wasn't muscle was thin and lean. If anything Kurt needed to embrace being a pig and eat a little more.

Before he could stop himself Burt let out a chuckle and shook his head. Kurt may be little but he ate like no one's business. How many times had Burt caught Kurt finishing off a whole cheesecake? How many times had they argued over the last slice of pizza? Kurt may eat healthy most of the time, but he _ate_. And Kurt didn't look like one of those wild hogs that rolled in their own filth all day. He looked like one of those tiny pot bellied pigs kids wanted for pets. His nose had always turned up a little and there was always that small, barely noticeable curve to his stomach that he was always whining about. So yeah, pig was not the first thing that came to mind when he thought about Kurt, but it wasn't a complete shock now that he thought about it.

"Don't laugh at me." Burt looked up to see Kurt staring at him, eyes watery but fierce. "_Don't_." Burt's face fell and he felt shame settle over him. His little boy was hurting and embarrassed and he was laughing about it. He wanted to apologize but he knew Kurt wouldn't hear it right now. He wouldn't want it. So he kept his mouth shut and tried to focus on Finn's show. When Carole came out and coaxed Kurt into taking a glass of warm honeyed tea he let out a breath. She's great with Kurt, she really is. She'll have him eating something in no time.

It takes a lot of coaxing and a lot of gentle touches and soft shushing noises but Carole does eventually get Kurt to lower his scarf and eat. It's a big bowl of alfredo noodles that Burt is sure is loaded up in fat. And Kurt must know that too because he sniffles the whole time he eats it. Once he's done the sniffles ease up and soon enough they turn into snuffling noises. It was normal for people to sleep on and off all day after the change. When he'd changed he woke up long enough to eat his parents out of house and home then he was down again so deep that a hurricane couldn't have roused him. It lasted for about three days.

Once he was sure Kurt was actually out for good, something he clued into once Kurt let out an actual snort, he decided it was time to get Kurt up to his bed. He wasn't as young as he use to be but Kurt wasn't that heavy. He hoisted him up and carried him up the stairs. He used his foot to nudge open the door. Kurt's blankets were still pushed to the end of the bed so Burt just laid him out as gently as he could and tugged them up. Then he grabbed the edge of Kurt's scarf and started to pull it away. Like a flash Kurt was awake and clutching the scarf to his face, eyes wild. "Come on buddy, you can't sleep with that on you'll choke yourself." Kurt shook his head and held on tighter, his nails biting harshly into the fabric. "Kurt. I ain't asking you. Take it off." Burt pinched a corner and started to tug. He stared Kurt down until his grip slackened and the scarf pulled away. "There. Not the end of the world."

Kurt huffed. His eyes were watering and his lip was wobbling. Burt sighed and sat down on the bed. "I don't want to be a pig."

"When I was a kid I wanted to be a doberman. Life is full of disappointment."

Kurt scowled and curled onto his side, facing away from his dad. "That's different. You're not ugly. You're not a walking synonym for disgusting and filthy and...and..._fat._" The reedy, desperate way Kurt says it makes Burt's heart clench. He reaches out and rubs his hand up and down Kurt's side, trying to comfort him.

"Well you're not disgusting or filthy or fat so—"

"Exactly! So why am I a pig? Why?" Kurt is crying again. He presses his face into his pillow and tries to ignore the way it makes his nose feel. He doesn't want to be a pig. He wishes he could just go back and change, do things over and make fate or whatever decides this change their mind.

"How about you ride with Mercedes to school tomorrow? She had trouble when she changed didn't she?"

Kurt's whole body tenses. And it's not just over how he dismissed Mercedes yesterday. It's the thought of school. It's the thought of showing up at McKinley with a pig snout and a disgusting pink tail. He'll be a laughing stock. "No."

"Well then maybe you should let Finn drive y—"

"No. No. I'm not going to school. I'm not going back to McKinley. Never. I can't. Not like _this_."

Burt sighs and squeezes Kurt's shoulder. "You have to. It's going to be hard but you can't stay in your room forever Kurt. Tomorrow—"

Kurt yanks away from Burt's hand and curls up even tighter. "NO! I am _not_ going to school."

Burt stands and faces Kurt's bed, hands on his hips. "You are going to school tomorrow. You don't tell me no. You're my son. Not the other way around and I say you're gonna suck it up and go to school tomorrow. I know you're disappointed that things didn't turn out your way but that's how it is and you can't change it. Staying home tomorrow isn't going to change you being a pig. I'm gonna be up here, in your room, tomorrow at seven and if you aren't up and getting ready I'm gonna drag you to McKinley in your pajamas and walk you to class personally." He watches Kurt's body shake with tears. He can even make out the weird little pig noises that he's trying to smother in his pillow and it makes Burt feel like an ass. But he can't back down on this. Kurt has to face the world eventually and the sooner he does it the better. He leaves the room quickly, before his resolve breaks.

**LINEBREAK**

In the morning Kurt is no more agreeable. The heartbroken look on his face is enough to have Carole tearing up in the kitchen. Kurt's always faced his problems with a clenched jaw and an upturned nose. It's unsettling to see him looking so devastated. But this isn't some bully that he can leave behind at two o'clock. This is what his life is going to be from now on and there's nothing he can do about it.

Breakfast is quiet, mostly. Finn is chewing like, well like a goat, and that's just loud enough usually have Kurt huffing. But this morning Kurt doesn't say a thing. He's leaning forward, elbows on the table, and methodically eating a bowl of oatmeal. Burt wonders how long it'll take before Kurt is back to his usual chatty self. He tries to start conversations but every time he opens his mouth he doesn't know what to say. So they all stay quiet. It isn't until Kurt gets up to wash his bowl that Burt gets his nerve back. "Change your pants." Finn and Carole look at him like he's crazy. He's never fussed over what Kurt chooses to wear to school, and as far as Kurt goes, those jeans are pretty tame. They're normal. But Kurt knows exactly what Burt's problem is if the rigid line of his back is anything to go by.

"I like these pants."

Burt turned, staring down Kurt's back, and slid his chair back. "Change your pants Kurt. Go put on those black ones." Kurt tosses his bowl in the sink and rounds on Burt, arms crossed over his chest.

"Why? Now that I'm a pig I can't dress how I want?"

Burt furrowed his brow and clenched his hand against the table. "Don't play dumb with me Kurt. Go change your pants. If you keep your tail in all day you'll hurt yourself." Kurt huffed and stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. His stomping feet almost covered up Finn's enlightened 'oh'. He didn't have a tail so he hadn't thought about Kurt hiding one. Carole didn't have a tail either. She was a Greater Hornbill and her transformation left her with a line of feathers down her back and talon like nails and toenails. They'd never felt what it was like to trap your tail in your pants all day. The pain snuck up on you. Sometimes it didn't hurt at all until your took off your pants, then it hits you like a busted dam. Burt wasn't going to let Kurt hurt himself over a little embarrassment.

When Kurt comes back downstairs Burt catches a glimpse of his little tail, pink and coiled, poking out of his jeans before he's outside. Finn follows after him with a frown on his face. He drives and tactfully doesn't say anything when Kurt slumps down in the passenger seat and tugs his hood up around his face. Finn even puts in one of Lady Gaga's CD's even though he doesn't really like her that much. But he's driving Kurt's baby and Kurt thinks his face is like ruined forever so it's the least he can do.

As they pull into the parking lot Kurt pulls in on himself even more. He's so low in his seat he's practically sitting on the floorboards. "Um...Burt said that he'd call the school to make sure you're in first period so...you know, don't skip." When Kurt doesn't acknowledge him Finn starts tapping his hands on the steering wheel and bobs his head a few times. He feels really bad. He does. It sucks when you turn out as something you didn't expect. He thought he'd be a dog, like a Labrador or something but then he's got these big horns on his head that make sleeping hard and it sucks. "And Blaine kind of blew up your phone last night. He sent soooo many texts. Then he texted me and I told him," Kurt snaps to attention here, whipping his head to the side with wide, terrified eyes. "That you were still super sleepy. But that you'd be here today so...yeah. He's waiting for you I'm sure." Finn clears his throat and slowly gets out of the car, taking his time in case Kurt has something he wants to say. But he keeps quiet and there's only so long Finn can drag out pulling on his backpack so he ends up leaving him there.

Kurt waits until just before the bell to get out of the car. The way he figures it, if people are rushing to class they have less time to stop and stare at him. Just in case though he keeps his hood up and head down. He rushes through the halls, dodging people left and right, slipping into his first period just as the bell rings. He's not lucky enough to get a seat in the back though. So he slides down into the desk in the front row, farthest from the door, and hopes that the teacher doesn't notice him. He makes it about twenty minutes in before Mr. Hadler is standing in front of his desk, arms crossed. Kurt keeps his head down and tries to look vulnerable. "No hoods in class Mr. Hummel." Kurt wants to snap and ask him why the hell hats are okay and not hoods, but he keeps his mouth shut. It was going to happen. He was stupid to think he'd make it the whole day with his hood.

With shaking hands Kurt pulls down his hood, but keeps his face down. Mr. Hadler is already moving on, satisfied that Kurt is properly chastised. Kurt's ears are burning and he knows he's blushing. Someone's going to say something. Even if the kids behind him can't see his nose there's bound to be someone in his row that can see his ears. And the girl next to him does. She's pretty, black and tall with hyena traits in the form of tattoo like spots across her neck and cheeks. Her finders are pitch black and she has a laugh that gets on everyone's nerves. It's not the first time Kurt's heard it directed at him. And once she starts going it's not long before everyone else is clamoring to find out why. Someone farther down in his row oinks and the rest of the class dissolves into mocking laughter.

While Mr. Hadler struggles to get everyone back in order Kurt packs up his things and runs. His feet naturally carry him to the choir room, which despite what everyone thinks, is not always empty. Right now there's band class. There are a few guys from Jazz Band that nod to him and it's the best feeling Kurt's had all day because they hadn't reacted at all to his face. The band teacher is ancient and on the verge of being completely deaf but he's always been nice to the glee kids so Kurt isn't worried about being shooed away. He tucks himself into the corner on a riser and pulls out some homework.

As the bell rings Kurt debates whether or not he should bother with his next class. His phone vibrating like crazy in his satchel decides for him. His dad probably already knows about first period and Mercedes is in his second so now is as good a time as any to shoulder on. The looks in the hallway are pretty blatant. He's always been gossip fodder but this just seems to be the icing on the cake. He can just feel the jokes trying to work out a mud/poop joke that's going to follow him around until graduation. The only good thing about his walk from the choir room to Trig is that Blaine is nowhere to be seen. This period he has art on the other side of campus. He's sure that by now Blaine knows he's a pig. Blaine who's gorgeous and likeable and a complete and total gay bar superstar knows his boyfriend is a pig.

Mercedes is standing by the door when Kurt gets there. The small curl and purse in her lips tears into his heart. He knows what it was like for her now. Kurt doesn't think she's going to be particularly genuine with her concern but Kurt will take what he can get. They sit together in the back. This teacher couldn't care less what her students wore so Kurt pulled up his hood and tried to make himself as small as possible. "Just own it Kurt. Be fabulous." The advice he'd so freely given Mercedes a few months ago stings. He can't own this. He can't make a pig handsome. Instead of snapping back at Mercedes he keeps quiet. Class seems to drag on forever. Every now and then people look back at him, moving side to side in their seats to get a good look. He considers leaving this class too but he can feel Mercedes' eyes on him and stays put. She never stormed out of class over her traits. Then again people weren't quite so vicious and blatant about mocking her either. She was a girl. She was black. Teachers tended to actually pay attention to that kind of bullying.

When class ends Kurt doesn't bother waiting for Mercedes. He had at least attempted to comfort her in her time of need. It was obvious that she was too happy over the role reversal to even try. The rest of the day drags on. At lunch time Kurt seriously considers making a run for his car. It's only been lunch for three minutes and he already has eight texts from Blaine and two from Finn. He hides in a classroom while he decides on what to do. Because it's not just Blaine seeing him that makes him pause. It's the lunchroom. He doesn't think he can bring himself to actually eat knowing he looks the way he does. His phone rings again, actually rings because he turns it off vibrate instinctively when the lunch bell goes. While he's fumbling with it the door opens and Kurt barely has time to turn before someone is in the classroom with him.

"Kurt?"

Oh God. It's Blaine. Blaine came looking for him and heard his ringtone and now he's there. "Go away." He hears Blaine take a step forward and Kurt matches him, keeping the same distance between them. "_Please_."

"No. Kurt I..." Blaine sighs and shuffles his feet. "I heard around school that you're a pig and I caught Finn and he said it was true." Kurt's hands fly up to his face. He covers his nose and tries to blink away the tears rushing up. "Kurt."

"No." Kurt shakes his head, like if he denies it enough Blaine will believe him and he can go another day with a boyfriend who loves him and thinks he's handsome.

"I can see your tail."

Kurt gasps and tugs down his hoodie. He wants to yank his tail right off of his body or stuff it deep into his pants where no one will ever be able to see it again. "Go away. Just go away Blaine." Kurt is still holding his hoodie down with one hand. His other clutching the drawstrings of his hood, ready to pull tight if Blaine tries to sneak a peek at his face.

"When I was six Cooper told me I'd be a buzzard because I perched on the furniture and I refused to eat my vegetables." Caught off guard by the confession, Kurt snorts, actually snorts. The humor is gone as quickly as it came because there's no way Blaine could find that attractive or even remotely endearing. He's so distracted by his snort that he didn't notice Blaine coming closer. The fingers curling under his jacket and around his tail surprise him. He jerks away, taking another forward so that his nose is a breath away from touching the wall.

"So?"

"So what if I am a buzzard? What if my hair falls out or I get jowls? What if my toes turn into talons or my nose grows out and hooks? Would you stop loving me?"

Kurt shakes his head, just a little. His nose brushes up against the wall. "No, never. I love you so much Blaine I...I love you so much." He hears Blaine's soft footsteps this time. So he's not shocked when calloused fingers close around the end of his tail. Kurt shudders as Blaine rubs his thumb across it, back and forth in soothing strokes.

"Then why do you think I'd stop loving you?" Blaine waits patiently for Kurt to turn. He doesn't want to rush anything. He wants Kurt to understand that this is just like the rest of their relationship. Kurt needs to be comfortable so he can be comfortable. And they need to talk, about everything. Even the things that hurt or are embarrassing. He hears Kurt snuffle and sees him shifting on his feet so he steps back.

Kurt keeps his head down as he turns and Blaine keeps his eyes on Kurt's chest out of respect. But when he raises his head Blaine does too. And it's the cutest thing he's ever seen. He'd imagined a long thick snout jutting out of Kurt's face but that's not it at all. It's the same nose, all the way down until the very end where it's flattened out and flared just a little. There's a little point to it, like a fat spade, and it's a soft baby pink. When Kurt sniffles his nose wiggles up just slightly and Blaine has to fight the urge to reach out and touch. Blaine smiles at him, honest and sweet until Kurt lowers his hood and shows off his ears. There's a point to them and they're a little longer on the top than they use to be but they're not hanging over and they're not covered in hair. Overall Kurt looks absolutely adorable. And Blaine gets that that's not really what Kurt wants to hear but he's so far from ugly that it's not even funny.

He smiles and steps forward and slides his hands over Kurt's cheeks, back until his fingers touch his ears. "Kurt Hummel, you take my breath away." Then he kisses him. It's like they're back at Dalton again. They normally never get this close at McKinley but it's lunch and they're alone and Kurt needs this so bad that Blaine couldn't stop himself. When they pull apart Kurt's cheeks are flushed the same pink as his nose. It's beautiful. "Lisa Fonssagrives."

Kurt wrinkles up his nose and leans back. "What?"

"Lisa Fonssagrives, Vogue May 1st, 1950. Look her up." Kurt wants to ask why but his phone rings again. It's Finn's ringtone and now that he knows Blaine still loves him there's no real reason for him to wallow in the shadows. Blaine tugs him into the lunchroom, their hands clasped, where their friends have trays waiting for them.

**LINEBREAK**

On the cover of Vogue, May issue of 1950, is Lisa Fonssagrives. She's Swedish and gorgeous. Credited as the first supermodel. And she's a pig. Her nose turns up just the same way as his and her ears even curl down just a bit. If she can make it work, so can Kurt.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

There's going to be more to this, but not standard chapters. Mostly they'll be related drabbles/one-shots. I have so much headcannon for this it's not even funny. I want to draw some art too but please, please, please feel free to do your own. I know what I want Blaine to be and I know what I want Rachel to be. And I have this thing I want to do later that I've kind of started on involving Kurt and a red ball gag that probably won't be an actual part of this verse but it will be Piggy!Kurt so there's that.

Quick fact: Possums have an uneven number of nipples. Hence Jacobs three nipples. I originally wanted him to be a mole but I wanted to throw that nipple thing in and couldn't think of anyone better.

Also Lisa Fonssagrives is real, gorgeous, Swedish, and entirely non-piggy. But I wanted Kurt to have hope. And of course Blaine just knows all about 1950's fashion icons.


	2. Blaine is Different

**Title: **Blaine is Different

**Summary: **Blaine's transformation.

**Rating: **G

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Routines were important things. Kurt was in the habit of making lists and keeping routines to the point just before obsession. It was just his way. His usual morning routine began with his alarm, closely followed by a loving text from Blaine. Blaine always woke up at an ungodly hour and by the time Kurt was crawling out of bed Blaine was already dressed and enjoying breakfast. Waking up to a text message from his boyfriend was probably the number one reason Kurt didn't throw Finn down the stairs each morning. It soothed his soul.

So naturally waking up to see that he had no text messages from anyone at all was a bit of a mood killer. It was way too early to actually be concerned about why he hadn't gotten a text. Everyone had their off days. Like now, Kurt was having a very bad morning. First and foremost he hadn't gotten his standard good morning text from Blaine. Second, he'd hurt his tail when drying off from his shower, pulling too tight on the curl. Then Sam finished off the rest of his cereal, which wouldn't normally be a big deal, but the last bit of it was almost entirely granola clusters. Then once everyone was finally ready to leave Finn tripped in the driveway and one of his horns scratched the side of his Navigator. It was shaping up to be a shit day overall and he hadn't even made it to school.

Once he did though, he started to worry. Blaine wasn't waiting for him at his locker. Kurt had noticed Blaine's discomfort the past few days and knew that logically he'd have to call out eventually for the change. But it still came as a shock. They'd talked just before bed the night before. That was around eleven which meant Blaine's change, if that's what it was, had started sometime in the early morning. Blaine's parents might not even know he's changing. They were busy people. Things slipped through the cracks and those things usually concerned Blaine. With a worried snuffle Kurt sent a text to Blaine, wishing him luck and love. He'd try calling at lunch. And if Blaine didn't pick up he'd ditch glee and head right over there.

The phone rang seven times before Kurt got Blaine's voicemail. He left a too long message full of soothing noises and "I love you's". He was ashamed to note that he didn't quite keep his voice level. Lunch was still hard. Well, eating in general. Whenever Blaine was out it was hard for Kurt to even walk into the cafeteria. Sugar and Brittany were usually good about getting him to eat if Blaine couldn't be there but he wasn't in the mood to placate them today. The day or days you developed your traits were important. A lot could go wrong so to speak, case in point Kurt's pig disaster. Sometimes people got hurt, like Quinn when she grew her patch of porcupine quills. While it wasn't likely that Blaine would grow any traits that would hurt him it was still entirely possible. Kurt felt like it was almost inevitable. Such was the luck of gay boys in Ohio.

The day dragged by slowly. Several times throughout the day Kurt swore he could feel his phone vibrate against his thigh, but it never did. His body was so use to the feeling he must have been hallucinating about it. By the time glee rolled around Kurt was so anxious that barely had the conscious of mind to tell Finn and Sam to get a new ride before he was bolting out to his car. The Anderson Mansion was a half hour drive from the school, out where weeds stopped growing through cracks in sidewalks and trees start getting fenced in. Kurt hadn't been over since his transformation. While Blaine's parents wouldn't pay his new traits any mind, their neighbors were sure to turn their nose up at a pig walking near their lawns. For Blaine's wellbeing though he was willing to face those snobby neighbors.

Snobby neighbors one and two, both uptight Chihuahuas with a whole litter of blond haired children, were standing outside when he pulled up. They kept their fake, uppity smiles firmly in place the whole time he walked up the drive. Once he disappeared from their view on the porch he heard them start in on his appearance, and the lingering smell of bacon. Which was just offensive because he showered every morning, thank you very much and he didn't sweat. He didn't. Kurt Hummel did not do something as plebian sweat.

Ignoring Snobby Neighbors one and two, Kurt plucked the spare key out from under the decorative sleeping cat rock by the door. He didn't bother announcing himself. If Blaine was done with his change he'd need all the sleep he could get. The house was quiet and dark. It was unsettling because Blaine always had some sort of white noise in the background. He was like a dog that way; so long as you leave the radio on for him he doesn't feel so alone. Kurt grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and heads to Blaine's room, keeping quiet, face drawn. The door is open and Kurt can see a Blaine sized lump under a nest of blankets. It would be a gross invasion of privacy to peek under the blankets without permission. People mid transformation were not a pretty sight to behold. And they were often so disoriented that they'd hurt themselves or the people looking if they came too enough.

There's a comfortable chair next to Blaine's bed that Kurt makes himself at home in. He feels better just being here. With no scent of blood in the air and no obvious signs of distress scattered around the room Kurt feels like he can relax. He curls up in the chair, tucking his nose into his folded arms, and watches the bed. Without anything to keep him occupied Kurt starts to get sleepy. Lately he's been finding himself drifting off into naps at the slightest provocation. To prevent it he's been doing more around the house which tends to lend itself into a vicious cycle.

**LINEBREAK**

Snuffling noises. A snort. What's making those noises? Blaine uncurls his body, stretching his limbs every which way until he feels the satisfying warm of a good pull. He's a little fuzzy. Actually a lot fuzzy. It hits Blaine all at once that he's part animal now. An exciting thrum runs through his heart and has his leaping out of bed. His foot catches his twisted comforter but he manages to pull himself up. In his excitement he completely ignores Kurt's startled half squeal and bounds into his bathroom. He doesn't have a full length mirror like Kurt but he has enough room to back up in his bathroom that he does okay.

"Whoa."

"Bad whoa or good whoa?"

Blaine smiles so wide his teeth start to show. He's not a Maltese which is a minor disappointment but he's not a Corgi either which is a huge relief. "Just…whoa." The bathroom door creaks and Blaine can practically hear Kurt's smile. He's a rabbit. Not the lop eared kind that girls usually cooed over but he didn't paint a bad picture. His ears were a soft gray that ended in dark black tips. He twisted them around a little and caught sight of a few black spots running down the back of the left one.

"You have a _tail_." Kurt is giddy over it. He starts giggling when Blaine begins spinning around like a toddler to see it. The little snub tail is white in the front and gray and black on the back. The dark fur goes a little ways up Blaine's back but it doesn't look like it covers him entirely. And it looks so soft. Kurt wants to tug Blaine's loose pajama pants the rest of the way down, or at least until they're resting under the delicious swell of his butt. He reaches out and grabs Blaine by the shoulders, stopping him before he falls and breaks his nose. "And your _ears_. They look so soft." Blaine wriggles free and pulls Kurt's hands up to his ears. "Ooh, they are soft." Blaine can hear the longing undercurrent in Kurt's voice.

"You can touch them whenever you want."

Kurt smiles and twists up his snout in a way that Blaine's consistently told him is adorable. Then Blaine smiles, wide and unabashed, showing off two wide and thick front teeth that would drive any dentist wild. It really shouldn't be as adorable as it is.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

This is up on Tumblr and LJ as well so don't fret if you see it there. Also it's a bit ahead over there so you guys can expect an update every day for about a week.


	3. You Are What You Eat

Title: You Are What You Eat

Summary: Kurt really should pay better attention to the food in his house.

Rating: PG-13

A/N: I was going to be all clever with the title so you don't guess what happens but screw it. You guys are smart. You would have figured it out anyways. This is the third installment of my Animal Verse, featuring Piggy!Kurt.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

The great thing about having Carole as a step mother was that she was a Greater Hornbill. They were great mothers. Carole had been a blessing really. As good a father as Burt was, he was a little emotionally stunted. Having Carole around provided an outlet for Kurt to vent his woes and have heart to hearts with. Since his transformation there were things Kurt was in no way comfortable doing yet. Namely buying groceries. Before Kurt took great pride in food shopping. He liked picking out healthy and exotic new foods. He liked the feeling of finding the exact spice he needed. He loved the thrill of sales and the smell of the baked goods aisle. Being a pig had taken the joy out of it. No matter how much his friends and family tried to convince him otherwise, he couldn't help but feel ashamed to go shopping for food. He felt like everyone was watching him. Constantly berating his choices. Picking up a box of junk food would confirm their suspicions that he was a glutton but picking up something healthy made him feel like they were judging him. Like they knew there was no way he'd actually eat any vegetable he picked up.

So grocery shopping now fell to Carole, who liked it just fine. Feeding Finn on a single salary had honed her bargaining skills just fine. After Kurt scavenged through her first "Hudmel" solo grocery trip he became confident in her ability to deliver. It was easier to relax about it after that. Kurt knew that logically he'd have to start shopping for food again someday. He'd live on his own eventually. But until then it was nice to not have to worry about it.

Not doing the shopping did have a few downsides. Namely there were certain snacks and staples he picked up on instinct every trip that he didn't think to ask for because they'd always just been in the house before. She liked to alternate the snack cakes she brought home, unlike Kurt would could cruise for an entire year eating nothing but cosmic brownies. She also tended to pick up already made items like wraps and frozen sandwiches. Kurt hadn't eaten something like that since he was a kid. They became the go to meal after his mother died and once Kurt learned to cook he swore off of them. He didn't particularly dislike them, but he never found himself with the burning urge to eat a superstore deli wrap when he could make his own out of fresher ingredients. The thought of using them in place of actually cooking something on a lunch date was preposterous.

Which is why Kurt was busy fussing over his outfit like it was his first date ever. He really didn't have the time to cook Blaine anything. It was his fault. All his fault. He'd taken a nap, suppose to be a wink nap, but ended up being a little over three hours. Now he had the house to himself, a boyfriend on the way, and no time to make anything up to par. Superstore turkey wraps it was. He made a nice spinach and walnut salad to go with it though. That should count for something. And what he lacked tonight in the culinary department he was more than making up for with these jeans. They were gray denim with a nice metallic wash and fade that shimmered just so if he turned right. They made his ass look fantastic. He paired it with a simple black Henley, two buttons undone, and a turquoise infinity scarf for a pop of color. The scarf was mostly to tease Blaine about the skin that could be showing but Blaine didn't have to know that.

The doorbell rang and Kurt's tail wiggled in excitement, much to his horror. He still wasn't quite use to the feel of it. Kurt ran down the stairs, his hand barely skimming the railing, and stopped just short of the door. He took a few seconds to calm himself down and smooth out his clothes. Blaine didn't need to know he was a giddy last minute mess. Letting out a long breath, Kurt opened the door and smiled. Blaine was wearing a snug black polo and his favorite mustard yellow jeans. And while his hair was gelled into submission, his ears were a fluffy mess. Kurt loved it. "Well hello Blaine Anderson. Come on in."

"Don't mind if I do." Blaine comes in with a smile wide enough to show off his new buck teeth. It makes Kurt want to squeal. Instead he gently pushes on Blaine's lower back, just above his fluffy tail, and guides him into the living room. He has the night all planned out. They're going to eat on a spread blanket while an old movie plays in the background. When they finish their wraps and salad Kurt will pull out some zucchini cake, because honestly Blaine loves it and it's healthy for a cake so win-win. Then they're going to kiss. Like a lot. Somewhere in there they'll get horizontal. Then breathless. Then Kurt will make the coy suggestion that they head upstairs. Then God willing, they'll have sex for the first time with their new traits.

There's no reason why this should derail in any way. He will see his boyfriend naked tonight. There is no maybe. "Just make yourself comfortable. I'm going to get dinner." He fusses over Blaine's ears while he settles, stroking the fur and rubbing at the base where fur meets gelled hair with his thumbs. Once Blaine is smiling like a dope and relaxed into the pillows Kurt pulls back. He pulls the wraps from their cellophane, tossing it in the trash as quick as possible. He really should have done it before Blaine got there but his hair refused to cooperate and that took president. He cut them into halves and tucked them onto a single plate, then grabbed the salad. He'd have to come back for drinks.

Kurt passed the plate and bowl to Blaine, who took them happily. "They're turkey and dijon wraps. What would you like to drink?" Blaine lifted the salad bowl to his face and gave it a sniff. It twitched up just like a rabbits even though it hadn't actually changed.

"Water is fine." Kurt fought the urge to run for the water. They had time. They had the whole night. No need to rush. The way his luck had been going lately, a simple jaunt to the fridge could easily turn into a broken ankle. Calmly, he grabs two waters from the fridge, and calmly walks back to the living room. From the kitchen archway all he can see of Blaine is the tips of his ears and it's adorable. He still can't quite get over having a rabbit boyfriend. Besides cats, rabbits were in high demand. They tended to be very good looking people. Not that he had any doubt Blaine would always be attractive, it was just that he was a pig now. Blaine could have any animal type he wanted but he stuck with a pig.

Kurt shook his head. Now was not the time to start crying. He swooped down to the blanket, sitting on his knees and bouncing forward until one of his knees was touching Blaine's. He passed him a water and waited patiently for Blaine to pick up a wrap. Knowing that Kurt was wary with eating these days Blaine wasted no time picking up a wrap half and taking a big bite. Content that he wouldn't be the only one enjoying the meal, Kurt followed suit. Their first few moments were filled with nothing but chewing noises. It was the most awkward part of having a dinner date. That's why Kurt kept the salad in a single bowl, so they'd have to share. Any opportunity to talk was a good one.

The wraps weren't even that bad. The turkey wasn't the low quality kind that had a perpetual slime to it and the lettuce was fresh enough to be crisp. The mustard was great too. The tang of it was really setting off something else in the wrap. Something Kurt couldn't place. He hadn't bothered to read the ingredients on the front. Carole wouldn't buy anything he was allergic to after all. Kurt just couldn't place the taste. He leaned against Blaine's side and took another big bite. This time he chewed thoroughly, savoring it and trying to guess without having to pick apart the wrap. "Do you like it Blaine?"

"Yeah. My dad buys these a lot. This one's my favorite because it has—" Blaine stops. Kurt can hear the awkward swallow and starts to worry.

"What? A lot of calories? I'm not too worried about it. I had a good breakfast." Kurt pulls away from Blaine and twists to look him in the eye. His comment about calories hadn't taken the uneasiness from his face. That was bad. Normally if Kurt joked about calories Blaine got this dopey, proud look on his face that made carbs worth it. "What?" Blaine laughed nervously and his ears dropped. If that was his new tell things were going to get harder for Blaine. His face was already an open book. "Blaine I—"

Blaine shook his head and put down the wrap. Then he plucked the salad bowl up and brought it to his nose for a good sniff. "You didn't put any carrots in. That's so sweet. Cooper sent me a bulk box and I keep trying to tell him that just because I'm a rabbit now doesn't mean—"

Kurt reaches out and firmly pushes the bowl down. Blaine sets it in front of his knees and starts nervously spinning it back and forth. "What's wrong with the wrap Blaine? I thought you liked them. Does it have something to do with your dad?" When Blaine shakes his head Kurt tries to think of what else could have Blaine suddenly denying the food. He'd been fine with it. Absolutely fine until he mentioned what was in it. What _was_ in it? Kurt glanced over at the plate where both of their wraps lay abandoned. He spotted a dark patch inside. It didn't look like a vegetable. No it looked like..."Bacon." Kurt's hand flew up to his mouth. He just ate bacon. He ate a piece of a pig and he loved it. "Oh God. Oh no. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no." Kurt shot up from the blanket, ignoring Blaine's protest, and threw himself into the bathroom.

He hunched over the toilet bowl and heaved. But nothing came out. Nothing. There was still pig inside of him, right this instant. He opened his mouth as wide as it would go and started to make gagging noises, trying to trick his throat into cooperating. But it wasn't working. Nothing was coming up. With shaking hands Kurt clutched the rim of the bowl and started crying. He just wanted this feeling to go away. Blaine's cautious hands brushing across his back didn't help. Blaine's soothing coos and gentle kisses didn't help. Kurt kept crying. He let himself sit on the floor, pressing his knees into the hard tile. Blaine tugged him back before he could rest his head on the toilet seat. Instead Kurt was pulled back against Blaine's chest.

He tucked his face into the crook of Blaine's neck and let himself go. Kurt cried, loud and long, until snot was dripping out of his nose and his leg was numb because of the weird way he was sitting on his ankle. When he started slowing down Blaine reached down to hold the swell of Kurt's butt. His thumb rested on the top of his tail and he started to kneed there. "Shhh. It's okay. It was an accident. It's okay."

"_No_. No it's not okay. I ate pork. I'm a cannibal. I'm a disgrace to my brothers. I—" Blaine squeezed Kurt close, cutting off his rant and pushing his slick nose up against his neck.

"You're not a cannibal. Mistakes happen Kurt."

"Let's see how you deal after eating some rabbit stew okay!" Kurt tries to yank away but Blaine holds tight. He lets Kurt pull his face away but keeps one arm around his waste and one firmly on his butt.

"The bacon was hidden. You didn't go to the store and pick up a pork roast for dinner." Blaine leans in and presses his forehead to Kurt's. "It's okay to be upset about this. But it _was_ an accident. I'm sure other people have done it."

"Well I can't exactly ask around without sounding like a cannibal fetish frea—"

"The internet is a wonderful place. Also, I know people who eat their animal counterparts on a regular basis. We have their traits but we're not animals Kurt. Pig DNA is not Kurt DNA. It's normal to be disgusted by eating your counterpart but it's not illegal or immoral." Blaine tips his head forward until his nose bops Kurt's snout, then he pulls away with a grin. "We don't have to finish dinner but maybe I could help clean you up? Then we can watch a movie?" Kurt wants to protest. He wants to end the date right there and try it all again tomorrow but then Blaine starts rubbing down the coil of his tail and it just feels so good.

"Okay. But I get to pick." Kurt pulls away from Blaine and turns to the sink. Maybe since they didn't finish dinner they could work that zucchini cake into their "naughty" plans.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Here we have it. Piggy!Kurt eats bacon and freaks out. I use to think about this when I read Fruits Basket. It just always bothered me because I don't remember them ever saying anything about whether or not Hatsuharu ate beef or not...

But I digress. Hopefully tomorrow there will be smut.


	4. Communication is Key

Title: Communication is Key

Summary: Being a prey animal in a predator family can cause some problems.

Words: 1,466

Rating: G

A/N: This one is all about Bunny!Blaine. It's actually kind of short though. Really very short so I may or may not post an additional one later tonight or early tomorrow morning.

To the person who signed in as a guest and send me the lovely long review: I am steadily working on sprinkling in bits about the rest of how their society, religion, and philosophy works. In fact there's a little of that in this one. And I do plan on mentioning the fish thing too. Your review was amazing and I hope I meet your expectations.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

In the Animal Kingdom, the real one, there were certain species that just didn't interact with one another. Carnivorous animals didn't play with herbivores. Lizards didn't cuddle up to squirrels for warmth at night. In the wild there was a very definitive order to things. With people it wasn't so easy. You could choose who you hung out with and who you dated and married. But you can't choose who your kids are going to be. You can hope and dream and nudge them into activities that might influence their change, but nothing is set in stone. Your children will turn out the way they do with or without your help.

It can't be helped. So families with natural predators have to make things work. It doesn't have to be difficult. They're not really animals. They're people. They can think and rationalize and put nature aside. Blaine wishes his family were better at it. Blaine was the odd one out, a rabbit in a family of predators. His father was a coyote and his half brother Cooper was a huskie. His mother was a kit fox. When Blaine was little they just naturally assumed he'd be something in the canine family. Except for Cooper who generally teased Blaine with different animals like buzzards and moles. Turning into a rabbit was just something else that made him stick out. Its not that his parents don't love him, its just that they don't know what to do with him most of the time. It was disappointing for them to find out he was gay because they had all these dreams for him. It was awkward bringing it up in conversation because of the bashing and the way Blaine held himself. So they just left it alone. It was the pink elephant in the room. When they saw him with rabbit ears it went the same way.

They congratulated him on his transformation and told him that the ears suited his face. Then it was business as usual, like Blaine wasn't a giant sore thumb in their otherwise normal family. It could have been worse though. He could have been an actual black sheep. If that had happened he'd just have to suck it up and never talk to Cooper ever again. Because there's no way he'd ever let that go. It was just sad. Sometimes Blaine felt lonely. He didn't want much from his parents, just a little more affection, or recognition. They tended to just let him do what he wanted. They bought his love and let him be and that stopped being fun once people found out he was gay. After that he would have given anything for a more affectionate family. Dalton was nice, it was great, but he could have gotten by with a nice tender hug and a different public school.

Since his transformation dinners have been a little weird. His mom and dad love red meat and Blaine never had a problem before but now he finds himself gravitating to more vegetables. And it's really hit or miss on pork after what happened with Kurt and the bacon. It's not that he doesn't like meat anymore, he just has other tastes and considerations now. He doesn't want his parents to worry about how they eat. It's their house too. He's tried to make it apparent that he doesn't care, that the copious amounts of meat don't offend him, but they're not getting it. Meat hasn't disappeared from the dinner table but it's different. Mom is cooking things in ways she never did before and she's trying to cut back on the amount of meat she puts out. It's a nice gesture and Blaine's glad they're at least trying to connect with him in some way but he feels like a burden too. Like he's forcing them to change their lifestyle.

He doesn't want it to stay like this. Pretty soon, not soon enough unfortunately, he's going to be moving out. He's going to move to New York and live in a dinky apartment with Kurt and Ohio is going to turn into a footnote. Blaine really doesn't want to spend his last years at home feeling like an estranged guest. Communication is key. Blaine takes a deep breath and centers himself. His parents are just on the other side of the wall, sitting in the living room. He can do this. If he can tell Kurt that he likes to poop with his pants entirely off he can talk to his parents about dinner. He can do this. Blaine nods to himself and walks into the living room. They glance up at him instinctively then turn back to the tv. They're watching _Bruce Almighty_. For a minute Blaine lets the movie pull him in. Morgan Freeman's black bear features have been removed with CGI and it's so striking. A person who looks entirely human past their twenties.

"Is there something you needed honey?" His mother is staring at him with a small frown. He's been standing there for a few minutes rocking on his heels.

"Yeah. I wanted to talk with you and dad." He smiles at them to show it isn't serious and waits patiently for his dad to turn off the movie and focus on him. Blaine takes a deep breath and stands in front of the television, his hands working together in front of his stomach. "I feel like we're not on the same page. We usually aren't. I don't...I don't always know how to talk with you." Blaine looks right at his parents, his face wide and earnest. "And it's not because you scare me or anything. I love you and I know you love me it's just...we don't um communicate very well I guess. But there's been something bothering me lately and I would feel better if it was all out there in the open." His parents don't speak but his dad sends him a small smile that gives him courage.

"I don't want you to change dinner. Or plant a garden in the yard. I still like meat, I'm just starting to like more vegetables. I like the stuff we usually have for dinner. And the whole thing with the pork roast that was...well the night before Kurt ate some bacon by accident and freaked out. It was a mess and I was just thinking about it. I'm not off of it entirely but sometimes it bothers me. Beef is good though, and deer. I still like that. And we don't need a garden. Really mom, we don't. We wouldn't be very good at keeping it up and it'd be ridiculous to hire someone to take care of a few tomatoes and beans." Blaine bites his lip and tries to gauge what his parents are thinking. It's his mother who breaks the silence.

"Okay. That's fine...was there..." His mother frowns and gestures vaguely with her hand. "It seems like there was something else too. Or is that...I didn't know the food was bothering you so much Blaine." She sounds genuinely upset about it and it makes Blaine want to backpedal. He didn't want to upset them.

"I just...I'm a rabbit. But I'm not an actual rabbit you know. I don't want you guys to feel weird just because coyotes and foxes eat rabbits. I know you love me and you're not going to eat me. This is just like me being gay. I'm still Blaine."

"Who else would you be?" Blaine's father says it like it's obvious, like Blaine was talking crazy just seconds before. "We just wanted you to feel like it was okay."

Blaine rocks on the balls of his feet, excited with the direction this has turned. "I do feel okay. I felt okay before and I feel okay now. I don't want a fuss but you know..." Blaine scrunches up his nose and looks up at the ceiling. "I want to talk with you more. About stuff. Like my life. I don't..._we_ don't do that enough. And I know that your busy and I'm busy and—"

"Blaine." He stops his rant and looks over at his father who has a deadpan look on his face. Then to his mother who looks like she's trying not to laugh. "Come watch the movie with us okay." Blaine's ears droop over with a lazy happiness and his tail starts to wag. He sits next to his mom, letting her pull him in and tuck him to her side like a little kid. While his dad starts bargaining with his mother for pizza he gets comfortable. Maybe tomorrow he'll ask them about what the transformation can do to your sex life. Kurt certainly isn't going to ask his dad.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

I wanted to do a fic forever ago dealing with little quirks and things that Blaine and Kurt would figure out about each other once they lived together. And the pants thing just came to me. Some people's legs get hot when they poop and they pull their pants entirely off and well it can be an embarrassing thing to admit to your lover. And since I can't seem to get that domestic fit out, I plan to sprinkle those things around in here.

Also I wanted to tackle a little bit of what religion would be like. The way I see Christianity in the Animal Verse is that God is the only being that is entirely human for his whole existence. And Christians believe people develop animal traits because they're made by God like the other animals. But I don't know. I have to flesh it out. It doesn't help that I'm agnostic. I just have too much headcannon to not include these types of things.


	5. What Was That, Seriously

Title: What Was That, Seriously

Summary: Kurt still doesn't understand how Sue works.

Words: 880 (Super short I'm sorry)

Rating: G

A/N: It's very super short I'm sorry. But I've been busy with my legal class and the longer ones just have to wait until I finish up this case study. But we get a quick look at Sue.

Oh and btw, since I already had this marked as T and not M I'm going to go ahead and leave the smut chapters off of ff. If you want to read them, so far there is only one, you can go to .com (/) tagged (/) animalverse

From there you can scroll through and find anything not posted here. I'll also eventually get around to linking them directly on my bio page.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

As it turned out, being a pig did dissuade Sue Sylvester from recruiting Kurt for the Cheerios. But not for the reasons he would have suspected. In all honesty he wasn't quite sure what happened or what Sue was thinking. Like ever. But it boiled down to Kurt being not on the Cheerios but still decidedly within the group of people Sue still tolerated. It would be touching if Kurt weren't still mildly terrified.

It all started the day he went back to school after his transformation. Unbeknownst to him, Sue had several Cheerios trail him through out the week that followed to check his habits, complexion, and reflexes. Whatever their preliminary criteria was, he'd passed it. The next step in Sue's plan, which Kurt was only able to speculate on as she still wouldn't come clean, was verifying this all for herself. Which would explain the few times she stopped by glee practice without warning and the sudden string of minor problems with her car. Once she'd been sure that her Cheerios hadn't reported back with false or skewed information, she made a very uncomfortable visit to his house.

She came to him home. Where he slept and ate and wore yoga pants. It was just bad luck that she'd also shown up while he was eating ice cream straight from the carton. Not his best moment by far. Finn had let her in because he didn't know what else to do. And let's face it, if Sue Sylvester comes to your door and demands to be let in, you let her in. She's strode right into the living room where Kurt was lounged against the armrest, legs draped lazily over the couch cushions. The look she'd given him had him sitting army straight in less than a second.

The two of them then spent the next few seconds staring at each other. No words. It was silent except for the harping in the background from Kurt's recorded _Project Runway_. Finn kept to himself somewhere out of sight. It was a smart move.

"So Porcelain, I've heard that you turned into a pig."

"Yes. I thought at this point that would be obvious."

"You'd think so but the change was so subtle I barely noticed it. I seem to recall telling you to lose the weight on your freakish pear hips not to long ago."

Kurt frowned and pouted his lips, looking down at his carton of ice cream. That wasn't really fair. He hadn't had his growth spurt then. He wasn't fat _now_ was he? "I...I really don't think that's fair coach."

Sue crossed her arms and scowled while looking up and down Kurt's hunched form. "I let you wear that Cheerios uniform and lead you into winning a national title and you thank me by quitting?"

"Well technically I lead _you_ to a national title."

Sue tossed her head to the side. "Semantics." She raised her chin and stared down at him like she was trying to see straight through into his soul. "Why'd you quit Porcelain?"

Kurt sighed and relaxed. He did quit. She didn't have any actual power over him. It would be worth hearing her verbal vomit to be comfortable during it. "It wasn't me I guess."

"You guess? You _guess_? You quit my Cheerios on a guess? And what are you Porcelain?"

Kurt shrugged. "A pig."

Sue scoffed and threw her arms out to the sides. "You weren't a pig when you quit. Although I'm still not sure how I didn't see it coming."

"I'm an outcast. I'm a theater kid not an athlete. I want to be able to eat a slice of pizza without wanting to kill myself."

"And?"

Kurt scowled. "And I want to avoid the locker room. As nice as it was to not be slushied in the uniform it wasn't worth the pay off. I was too busy. I couldn't wear my own clothes. And walking into the locker room made me feel like a target. There, happy? I'm a lazy coward who didn't deserve to wear the uniform."

Sue stepped closer and bent at the waist until she was nose to nose with him. Her bushy raccoon tail swayed slowly from side to side. It unnerved Kurt a little, that her tail could be so calm while her face was so serious. "You are one of the best kids I ever had on my squad and I regret the day I let your wide Disney baby eyes persuade me into letting you quit."

Kurt blinked, slow and long. "So you want me back?"

"No. Your time has come and gone Porcelain."

"Because pigs are fat lazy sloppy babies?"

Sue stood and started making her way towards the door. As she opened it she turned her head back. "Because you're baby potbelly pig looks will make all the female judges useless." With that Sue slammed the door and was gone. It was all very quick and very unnecessary.

He couldn't understand why she would spend so much time scouting him out if she knew she wouldn't use him. Brittany was under the impression that she was concerned about how he was handling things. And well, that was just absurd.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

I actually loved Kurt as a Cheerio. Not the whole starving himself thing, but the uniform and the routines. And I love that he's Sue's soft spot. I honestly had no idea what to make Sue but I figure Raccoons are smart and devious so it's an okay fit.

And in case it wasn't clear, she's not insulting him at the end. She's telling him his cute baby pig looks will have all the judges focusing on how adorable he is instead of how talented her Cheerios are.


	6. Be My Valentine

Title: Be My Valentine

Summary: Kurt has a secret admirer. (in my piggy!Kurt animal verse.)

Rating: PG

Words: 3,336

A/N: A little something for Valentine's day. Be warned though, it's kind of sad but not because of Blaine.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

Valentine's day is a peculiar event. In high school there are students who are still entirely human and there are students who aren't. This being the case, there's usually a few fights on the big day over who sent who gifts and who had the right to. A lot of students had the nose to sniff out their admirers which took some of the fun out of it. But amongst the younger kids there was a lot of anonymity and confusion. By now Kurt was intimately acquainted with Blaine's scent. Had Blaine actually been at school, there would have been no confusion as to who would be stuffing Valentine's into his locker. But Blaine was home because a smarmy meerkat with absolutely no fashion sense had the audacity to attack them. So Blaine was at home and Kurt would go to school on Valentine's Day alone.

Again.

It was okay though. So he didn't get to spend time with his sweetie at school. Big deal. Blaine was at home and on the mend. They could see each other after school with a lot more privacy. He didn't expect to get anything special on Valentine's day. Tina and Mercedes hadn't been able to wait to give him their little trinkets. A candy rose and a singing card respectively. Brittany had somehow managed to pour red glitter into his locker on Monday and he was hoping he wouldn't get another contribution from her. And Sugar's gift was the party at Breadstix. None of the boys would get him anything. Kurt wasn't bothered by it. He only wanted gifts from one boy and Blaine was bound to think of something. Even if it was just a hand drawn card and a quiet movie night.

He was so resigned to the idea of getting nothing that the colorful card in his locker almost went unnoticed. It was bright and had a corny saying on the front. For a moment Kurt thought it was something else from Brittany, or maybe Sam. He picked it up cautiously. Inside it was signed 'Your admirer' in a slanted scrawl. He didn't recognize the handwriting so he brought it closer to his face and took a small sniff. He couldn't place the smell either. It was familiar though. Not someone he hung out with regularly but someone he knew.

Kurt turned the card over in his hands a few times. He tried to think of who could have sent him the card. He wasn't aware of any admirers. If anyone other than Blaine showed even the most miniscule hint of attraction to him it would have been front page news on Jacob's blog. The card didn't give him any clues. The handwriting was generic and the card was from a display at the local supermarket. Anyone could have picked it up.

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he smiled and caressed the edges of the card and closed his locker with his elbow. It had to be from Blaine. He'd obviously asked some mutual acquaintance to put the card in his locker so he wouldn't feel so lonely. It was the only thing that made sense. Kurt honestly didn't know who else would send him a card. He kept it with him all day, patting the pocket of his satchel where it rested in every hallway and peeking at it during class. It made him all warm inside to think that Blaine had gone through the trouble of setting up something so sweet for him.

When the school day finally ended and Blaine was tucked to Kurt's side, ears drooping and eyes heavy, Kurt kept the card to himself. Oh he let Blaine know he was exceedingly giddy today and that Valentine's was shaping up to be good this year. But he didn't mention the card. There was a pile of craft scraps barely hidden on Blaine's desk that hinted there would be more. And the card did say from an admirer. Kurt kissed the crown of Blaine's head and thought about what else could be planned. Knowing Blaine, it would get more and more extravagant with each day and probably end in a musical number. Although he wasn't sure how that would go if Blaine was still confined to bed.

The day he opened his locker at lunch to find a small red ceramic vase with a pink carnation inside. It was accompanied by another pun filled card signed only by an admirer. The slanted nondescript handwriting was the same. The smell was the same. Kurt had carried the vase around with him all day, close to his chest so he could smell the carnation with step through the halls. When he went to bed he placed it on his nightstand just behind his clock so he could see it when he woke up.

On Thursday, Valentine's day, he woke up with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step. He had the perfect outfit picked out for the school day, red skinny jeans and a long black sweater. Then for Sugar's party he had put aside a more formal outfit, complete with a black and red printed tie that would just kill with his new wingtip collared shirt. He wasn't sure if he'd stick around for all of Sugar's party but every occasion is a reason for fashion. There was also a chance that whatever Blaine had planned would spill over into the night and if Blaine had a thing for ties, well that was just their little secret.

By the time the lunch bell rang Kurt was sitting on pins and needles. He couldn't wait to open his locker and see what was inside. He bolted as soon as the bell sounded and darted through the halls to get to his locker. He was so excited that he messed up his combination twice before finally taking a deep breath and slowly putting in the numbers. When he opened the door he was slightly disappointed. There was nothing there. No card, no note, no candy. Kurt frowned and dutifully traded out his books then closed his locker. He walked to the cafeteria with his head down and shoulders slumped. It was stupid. Blaine had given him two little gifts already and they were sure to see each other after school. Not getting something in his locker wasn't a big deal. Even so he couldn't wipe away his poor mood enough to dissuade Mercedes from cooing at him and fussing over his lunch.

Half way through he felt someone tap his back. Kurt turned and saw someone dressed in a gorilla suit clutching a bouquet of roses and another card. He smiled and clapped, bouncing in his seat. Blaine hadn't forgotten him, he'd just shaken things up. The gorilla suit was an odd choice but he figured there was only so much Blaine could do while hopped up on pain meds. Kurt eagerly took the flowers first, sniffing them delicately to minimize the movement of his nose, then passed them off to Mercedes. He plucked the card the gorilla's hand and opened it up immediately, not bothering to look at colorful writing on the front. He stuck his nose almost flush to the card and took a sniff. It was the same scent and Kurt still couldn't place it. He passed it off as being a pig. Surely his nose wasn't as good as a dogs. He'd just have to ask Blaine who his little helper was.

And he'd get to do that tonight by the looks of it. Kurt pressed his palms over his nose to muffle the squeal he couldn't hold in. Blaine wanted to meet him at Breadstix before the big party. That was the grand finale. Blaine was well enough to be out of bed. While the girls took turns complimenting Kurt's admirer and chastising their own boyfriends, Kurt thought about the present he was giving Blaine. This was their first Valentine's day as a couple and the first with animal traits. Kurt had already given his body to Blaine and Blaine in kind. He'd wrestled with what to get. In the end Kurt decided that a tradition was in order. Every Valentine's since his mother and father had started dating his dad had given his mom a bell. In the attic there was a storage tub filled with them. Silver, gold, tin, copper, iron, some small enough to go on a cat's collar, others big enough to hang on the porch. Some where round and others were shakers with the traditional bell shape. His mother loved them.

Obviously Kurt wasn't going to give Blaine a bell. That wouldn't mean anything. Instead Kurt had picked out a music boxed shaped like a pocket watch. Kurt decided that every year they were together, he would gift Blaine with a music box. Hopefully they would accumulate more than his mother and father had in bells. The music box was tucked away in his glove box so that he would have no chance of forgetting it in a rush. He couldn't wait to see the look on Blaine's face when he opened it.

Once school was out Kurt rushed home to change. The meeting time specified in the card was only an hour before the party but Kurt was anxious to get the ball rolling. He wanted everything to be perfect for Blaine. So he primped and primed and preened in his mirror until there was absolutely nothing else to perfect. He still had a little time before the party so he went about straightening up his room. He adjusted his photos and knickknacks, smoothed out the blankets on his bed, and adjusted his mountain of pillows. There was a distinct possibility that Blaine would want to come over after the party and they would most certainly be alone in Kurt's room. Open door policy or not Kurt planned on getting at least a heated make out session in. He'd been deprived lately.

As the clock neared an acceptable time to leave, Kurt grabbed his keys and practically threw himself down the stairs to leave. He offered a quick babbling goodbye to his dad and Carole, then skipped to his car and in. On the passenger seat next to him where the three cards his 'admirer' had given him during the week. He brought them along so he could show Blaine how much the small gestures meant to him. During the drive Kurt hummed along happily with the radio and sent quick glances to the cards. It was shaping up to be a perfect night.

The nearly deserted parking lot at Breadstix is kind of intimidating. Kurt feels like a VIP in a much more important town. And it strikes him that Sugar must come from a very rich family. Not even Quinn could rent out Breadstix for a night, complete with temporary renovations. Kurt couldn't see Blaine's car in the nearly abandoned lot, which was a little confusing, but he could have gotten a ride. It would be the responsible thing to do while wearing an eyepatch. With a wide smile Kurt pulled the pocket watch music box from the glove box and set it on his lap. Then he picked up the three colorful cards and pressed them to his nose. They covered his giddy smile while he scanned the parking lot once more. The vaguely familiar smell lingered in his nose and toyed with his senses.

Just as he was about to open the door and head inside he spotted a familiar van in the far corner of the lot. The joy drained from Kurt's face and the cards fluttered to the floorboards. He recognized the smell now. Kurt stared at the van, eyes wide and mouth open in shock. His whole body felt hot and jittery. Then in an instant he sprung into action. His fingers slammed down on his lock and he hastily jammed his key into the ignition. With shaking hands Kurt sped away from the Breadstix parking lot and back towards his house. It wasn't Blaine who'd sent him the gift and cards. It was Karofsky. Karofsky who took his animal's attitude towards mating very seriously and who had not so long ago threatened his life.

The speeding Navigator just barely clipped the curb leading up to his driveway but Kurt barely noticed it. He left the car running and held tight to the steering wheel, panting and shaking. Karofsky had gotten into the school and into his locker. His new locker, in a new hall, with a new combination. Karofsky had sent him love letters and handed him flowers in person. Who knows how long he'd been stalking Kurt before this week to gather the necessary information. And Kurt had adored the attention, sighing over it and preening like a peacock. He'd been over the moon because of the attentions his aggressor had been giving him. He felt sick to his stomach.

Slowly Kurt scraped along the door, still looking blankly forward, looking for the handle. Once he found it he leaned into the door and pushed it open. Then he was leaning over, still tangled in his seatbelt, vomiting. It splashed over the concrete of the driveway and pooled into the grass. Blaine's music box tumbled down his legs to his feet joining the cards. Kurt relaxed against the seatbelt, letting it dig uncomfortably into his chest and side. He should go inside. He should talk to his dad and explain everything. He should have asked Blaine about the cards.

The rough, calloused hand on the back of his neck is a surprise. Kurt jerks back, letting out a frightened sound. Was it Karofsky? Did he see Kurt driving away and follow him? "Hey. Hey now, calm down. Shhhh. Shhhh. Calm down Kurt." Kurt stopped struggling and threw himself forward. He got caught by his seatbelt and with frantic fingers he scrambled to get out of it. The rough hands of his father reached across him and pushed the release. Then Kurt was free to throw himself into his dad's chest and cry.

Burt clutched him around his middle and pulled him out of the car. Kurt's feet clipped the gift box and sent it tumbling to the driveway, narrowly missing the pool of vomit. Kurt went with him, letting his shoes scrape across the driveway and grass until his dad was tugging him up the porch stairs and into the house. He pressed his nose hard into Burt's chest, trying to abolish Karofsky's scent. "Kurt what's all this about?" Kurt kept blubbering into Burt's chest, trying desperately to pull in enough air to answer.

"K...Karof...s-sky. Waiting f-for me." He heard his dad suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He clutched tightly at Burt's flannel shirt and let himself be guided to the living room. He could smell fish, Salmon and spicy rice. He'd come home in time to interrupt his Dad and Carole's Valentine's dinner. Finn must have left after him to meet with Rachel. Kurt let himself be pushed down onto the couch and then tucked into a worn fleecy blanket. His dad and Carole sat on either side of him. Carole started rubbing across his back and rubbing her thumb across the nape of his neck. His dad had a warm hand on his knee and gave him a quick squeeze.

"What'd he do to you?" Burt waited patiently for Kurt to settle down enough to talk.

"I thought it was Blaine. I thought...I was getting cards and gifts. I thought Blaine was having someone put them in my locker. He said he wanted to meet at Breadstix. I got...I got there and saw Karofsky's van. It was his scent."

Burt's hand tightened on Kurt's knee and Carole draped herself across his side. "He wanted to get you alone? You think he was gonna try and beat you up?" Kurt shook his head and closed his eyes. He curled his fingers into the blanket and pulled it tighter to himself.

"He...When he threatened to kill me...it was because he kissed me. He's gay and I think..." Kurt clenched his eyes shut tight and let out a strangled sob. "Oh God, I think he wants to _date _me."

Burt wanted to kill someone. His chest felt tight and his face felt hot. His little boy, his precious little Kurt was sexually assaulted by some punk twice his size and he hadn't known about it. He wanted to run over to Breadstix right now and rip that kid's head clean off his shoulders. He wanted to call the police and the school and demand action. But there was a voice in his head, the soft calm voice of his beloved Mollie that told him to stop. Kurt needed him. He could rant and rage later, but right now his son needed him. "He's not gonna touch you. You go on up to your room. Clean your face. Put on pajamas. Tomorrow I'm gonna make some calls." Kurt opened his mouth, ready to argue, but his red rimmed watery eyes demolished any sway. "No. We'll talk about how far we want to take this but we're doing something about it."

Burt ran his hand through Kurt's hair, freeing it from it's hairspray and rubbing across the points of his ears. He nodded to Carole. She wrapped her arm around Kurt's shoulder and guided him up from the couch and to his room. Burt heard her promising to call Blaine. Then Kurt was mumbling something about a box before retreating to his room.

Burt took a few calming breaths and started pacing the living room. He watched Carole head outside and saw her come back with a scuffed black box. He made his way to the kitchen and braced his palms against the table. The smell of fish and rice, the smell that was so wonderful earlier, didn't do a thing for him now. He couldn't see himself eating tonight, not knowing that Kurt was upstairs waiting for a boy to break in and rape him. Starting tonight he wasn't sure what he could do. He wasn't in the frame of mind to get anything productive done, not unless it involved a lot of yelling.

"Burt...honey I'm going to call Blaine. He wanted to go to Breadstix tonight to surprise Kurt." She frowned and gestured helplessly towards the stairs. "I don't want him to think he got stood up." Burt nodded, still looking down at the table.

**0 oo 0 oo 0 oo 0**

When Blaine got Carole's call he was already en route to Breadstix. His mother had agreed to drop him off because he wasn't suppose to be driving with the eye patch. When he heard what Carole had to say he started crying. He ended up just passing the phone to his mother. She'd changed direction and took him to Kurt's house without protest. And while he was getting out of the car she called that he could stay the night if it was okay with Burt.

Seeing Kurt curled up looking defeated in his bed was heartbreaking. When Kurt spotted his homemade heart shaped eyepatch though, he let out a breathy chuckle. "My gift was suppose to be a serenade." Kurt smiled sadly at him and moved over on the bed, inviting Blaine to lie down with him.

"I got you something. But I probably broke it." He passed Blaine a small black box. Inside was a beautiful musical watch with a crack running across it's cover. Blaine rubbed his finger across it's base reverently.

"It's beautiful." Blaine pressed himself against Kurt's back and wrapped his arm around his middle. The musical watch was still in his hand, pressing into Kurt's stomach. He kissed the curve of Kurt's neck and tangled his legs with Kurt's. "I love you."

"Love you too."

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

Oh no, so angsty. I really think Glee didn't handle that whole thing well. Kurt was being stalked and it should have been a very important thing. Kurt wasn't as terrified as I expected him to be in the show.

Karofsky is a Tasmanian Devil. They are very possessive of their mates, often engaging in violet fights to defend them. Then when they mate with the females they bite their necks so hard and often it leaves scars. Females spend roughly 90% of their life either pregnant or nursing. And since they birth way more babies than they have nipples for it's like a little hunger games set up. So yeah, Kurt does not want to get caught up in that.


	7. Who Doesn't Think Kurt is Cute

Rating: PG

Summary: Hey there! Don't know if you're still taking piggy!kurt prompts, but I would love to prompt you: the first time Kurt gets hit on/flirted with (after his animal transition).

A/N: I'm always accepting prompts for this verse. So if you have anything you want to see let me know.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Columbus is roughly two hours from Lima geographically. Culturally it was world's away. Columbus was the one of the most accepting cities in the United States in regards to homosexuality and animal diversity. It was bittersweet, to know that a place so accepting and welcoming was so close but so, so far away. Kurt often wondered how much easier his life would have been if his dad had just stayed in Columbus after college. He tried not to dwell on it though. It wouldn't do him any good.

Blaine had never been. His parents had taken him all over the United States and the Philippines during school breaks but he'd only ever passed through Columbus. It came up in passing while Kurt was talking about a little boutique there and things kind of spiraled out of control. A little passing comment turned into a very detailed road trip and express permission to spend the weekend at a hotel. Finn would be coming along of course as chaperone but he planned on sneaking Puck in too and Kurt knew they'd get privacy. In all honesty Blaine had been looking forward to it, even if he was a little blindsided by the swiftness of it all. They weren't going to be in town for any LGTBQ activities but Kurt assured him that they would stop by a gay friendly diner and engage in a little light PDA.

With that promise firmly in mind, Blaine tried to make the best of his cramped position in the car. Kurt had given him the front seat but Finn had taken the seat behind him. So his chair was pushed very close to the dash. Even with his shorter than average legs it wasn't the most comfortable position. And Puck kept trying to catch his eye in the mirror with lewd gestures and wagging eyebrows. Blaine kept his eyes away from the mirror and sang along to the radio, prompting Kurt into a few flirty duets along the way.

After a rousing rendition of Thrift Shop where Kurt insisted on drawing out Motha instead of actually cursing, they pulled into the hotel parking lot. It was nothing special but the rooms were only sixty-five dollars a night and there were two full beds. Puck and Finn were going to have to fight it out on whether or not they shared. The room was alright, a little cold, but otherwise fine. Puck made it clear that he planned on staying out late and for most of the afternoon. As he left he drug a reluctant Finn with him and finally Kurt and Blaine were alone.

Kurt clasped his hands together and rolled his shoulders. With a smile he crowded into Blaine's space. "Sooooo, anything in particular you'd like to do?" Blaine smiled and clasped Kurt's hands in his own.

"Maybe we could just...walk around."

"Walk around?"

Blaine looked down and nodded. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as Kurt made a noise of recognition. Columbus was a good a place as any to take a stroll hand in hand. When Kurt tugged Blaine towards the door his tail wiggled in excitement and his ears stood up straight.

It was amazing. All around them there were people passing by not giving them a second look. Blaine basked in the feeling and tugged Kurt along with him down every street that looked vaguely interesting. They stopped into a thrift shop and made a few purchases. A mustard yellow scarf for Blaine and a handful of broaches wrapped in tissue paper for Kurt. Just past noon they passed by a family of lemmings, all holding slurpies. The rarity of finding a whole family of the exact same animal had them staring open mouthed. Once the family turned a corner Kurt started gushing and cooing over how cute the whole thing was. It carried them to the diner Kurt had mentioned before and Blaine pulled him inside.

Inside it was busy. The whole diner was filled to the brim with people of all different traits and ages. A teenager girl with sandy blond hair and pudgy cheeks guides them to their seats. She's a chipmunk with bulky front teeth, just like Blaine's, and the shells of her ears are covered in a fine fur. They order their drinks then settle in to pick their lunches. Blaine already knows he's going to get the large spinach and mozzarella salad. He looks across the table to see Kurt blushing lightly while tracing his fingers up and down the menu. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You should get the special. It sounds delicious."

"You think so?"

"Mmmm, I might have to steal a few bites." Blaine smiled and brushed his fingers over the back of Kurt's hand as he headed to the restroom. There was a bit of a line but it was busy enough that Blaine was sure he'd get back before the waitress.

**0 0 0 0**

The special for the day was a grilled turkey and gouda sandwich with a side of potato soup. It sounded delicious, and very heavy. Fattening. Kurt folded up his menu delicately and let his eyes wander of the people around him. He couldn't see anyone making pig faces at him but that didn't mean someone wasn't thinking something nasty. He lingered on an elderly couple, a squirrel and pigeon, who were both enjoying the day's special. It looked delicious. Kurt took a sip of his diet coke then looked towards the bathrooms. He couldn't see Blaine. But before he turned around, someone else caught his eye.

He was Asian, well Kurt supposed it was a he, his shirt was draped loosely. His hair was shaved at the sides and there was a great swoop of dark hair on his crown like a pompadour that lost a battle with the wind. His most discerning feature though, was the blue and silver scales that trailed delicately across his cheeks and down his neck. A fish. The boy, man most likely, next to him was a fish. Kurt had never seen one before. They were very rare and tended to have severe medical problems. A few even died shortly after their transformations because they lost the ability to use their lungs. But this man looked like the picture of health, in a hipster too cool for Ohio kind of way. He looked like he belonged on the streets of New York.

Kurt sputtered and blushed when he saw that he'd been caught. "Sorry." Kurt meant to turn back to his table but the fish boy laughed, light and soft, and waved his hand around.

"That's alright. I get a lot of looks. I'm Jiro."

"Kurt." Kurt curls his hand around the top edge of his chair and rests his chin on it. "I didn't mean to stare. I...well, I know it can't be very pleasant."

"Beating them away with a stick then? Doesn't surprise me." Jiro smirks while he says it and it takes Kurt a moment catch his meaning. When he does he sits up straight and blushes.

"Oh, oh, no. No. I'm...I'm not from here. Well I'm from _here_ but not Columbus." Kurt's explanation putters out. He's not entirely sure what to say. Besides Blaine, no one made a habit of complimenting his looks. When Jiro raises a brow Kurt feels compelled to continue. "You should have seen me before my transformation. I looked—"

"Beauty like yours is persistent. You must have been attractive before, but now...stunning. Pink suits you. It brings out your eyes." Jiro went on to, quite unabashedly, compliment all of Kurt's features in turn. Moving from his traits, to his clothes, even to the decal on his phone. It was all a bit overwhelming. He'd never known what it felt like to be one pursued. Because Karofsky in no way counted. He was so thrown for a loop it didn't cross his mind to feel guilty. Nothing was going to come of this. Jiro was obviously in college and besides that Kurt was very happy with Blaine. Deliriously so. He saw no harm in receiving a few compliments.

Which is why the burning jolt of shame that coursed through him when he saw Blaine came as such a surprise. Newly free of the bathroom, his boyfriend weaved in and out of hectic dinners and stopped next to his chair. Kurt laughed, breathless and stained, smiling too wide. "Jiro, this is Blaine. Blaine, Jiro." Blaine smiled and stuck his hand out to shake but Jiro kept his arms folded against the table. It made the knot of shame twist in Kurt's belly. Obviously Jiro had expected something to come from their little chat. He hadn't been flirting back had he? No, he didn't think so. He just hadn't discouraged Jiro from continuing, that's all.

Within a few seconds Blaine withdrew his hand and gave Jiro a weak smile. Then he turned, running his hand across Kurt's shoulder as he made his way back to his seat. Kurt didn't bother waving goodbye to Jiro, unwilling to instigate things farther. Blaine didn't seem to notice Kurt's inner turmoil, or the way Jiro had been flirting. Not wanting Blaine to suddenly see the light, Kurt reached out and grasped Blaine's hand in his own. The small smile, complete with the barest hints of buck teeth, made relaxed Kurt's whole body. "I love you."

Blaine blushed and wiggled his ears. He looked quickly from side to side, still a little wary of homophobes, then leaned forward and pulled Kurt's hand to his face. He pressed a quick kiss there and squeezed. "I love you too." Before he could say anything else their waitress came back, looking a little worse for wear, but still with a smile on her face. "I'll have the Spinach and Mozzarella salad. Can I get the dressing on the side?"

"Of course. And for you sir?" While the waitress waits Kurt looks over at Blaine. He takes in Blaine's sweet face and wide happy eyes.

"I'll have the special."

"Allllright. That'll be a little wait though, sorry. We're swamped today." She scampers away before they can properly reply but they don't take any offense to it. The diner _is_ swamped. They start to talk again, about little things. They even plan on going back to one of the shops they visited earlier before heading back to the hotel. By the time their food arrives they've covertly made plans to make use of the empty room and Puck's stash of special condoms.

"Can I have a bite?" Kurt pauses with his sandwich almost at his mouth. Normally sharing food is a big no no, but Blaine is twisting up his nose and showing off his teeth. Kurt smiles and offers up the corner of his sandwich for Blaine to take a bite. And he does, a big, Finn sized bite that makes Kurt scowl and tug his sandwich back. "Mmmmm. Protect your sandwich with your life. Or I'll come back for more." Blaine reaches out with a smile, making grabby hands at Kurt's plate. It sends Kurt in a fit of laughter that ends with him shoving the last big piece of his sandwich into his mouth. The food makes his cheeks bulge out in a way that would normally embarrass him but Blaine is still smiling at him. Then he's leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Kurt's stuffed cheek.

When Kurt swallows he leans back in his seat and smiles serenely. For a moment Jiro had made him feel sexy. But Blaine makes him feel special, always.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Sorry for the long wait. I had to move and piggy!Kurt got lost in the scuffle. But I hope to have more frequent updates again soon.


	8. What A Sight

Title: What a Sight

Summary: Part of my animal verse. Kurt agrees to take part in a little extra something for Vogue and it all just kind of snowballs from there.

Rating: PG-13

Words: 4,820

A/N: Sorry for the long wait everyone. But I had like four of these going on and I wasn't sure which one to finish. I think the next one up will be pretty exclusively about Rachel and her transformation. This one however jumps forward a bit. Meaning they'd be in season four of glee rather than three. But that doesn't mean I'm done with the high school chapters.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

More than anything Kurt wishes that he wasn't so hard on Rachel over the whole artistic nude thing. Because what he was doing right now was steadily creeping away from artistic nudes to fetish soft core pron way faster than he thought possible. So really, more than amending his previous indignation, he really, really wishes that Rachel never gets the urge to search for pig fetish videos. There's no point in denying that's what it is. Oh God, how did he even get here?

Isabelle Wright, that's how. Even though he was a full time student at NYADA he couldn't bring himself to quit his job at Vogue. It was a dream come true. And Isabelle was amazing. She was a cat, because of course she's in the fashion industry, but she didn't bat an eye at him when he expressed an interest in working at Vogue. She too was a fan of Lisa Fonssagrives and flattered him by saying he held a striking resemblance to her. Kurt was hard pressed to ever say no to her. Especially when his home life was spiraling out of control.

Rachel was a weeping mess, still distraught over being completely human. And with a baby on the way she was impossible to console. Santana was beginning to grate on his nerves more than ever. Her snooping, while helpful when directed at Brody, made him feel violated when directed at him. Things with Blaine were strained too. It was hard not seeing him everyday. There were a few weeks, the longest weeks of Kurt's life, when he had thought Blaine had cheated on him. He blamed their lack of communication. And Blaine's tendency to pile on his own guilt. It still hurt to know that Blaine had gone to some guys house, especially after all the hell Blaine raised over Chandler, but nothing happened. Blaine ran out crying and life moved on. But still couldn't help the occasional whisper in the back of his mind that said Blaine could do better than some pig from Lima.

Kurt was letting his thoughts get away from him. He should be more focused on the cameras. Kurt tilted his head to the side and relaxed his face. He was currently sprawled across a circular bed covered in shimmering silver sheets. He was wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy baby pink spandex boy shorts and a pair of black ankle boots. In his hand was a shinning red apple. His hair was tousled and his cheeks were dusted pink and his eyes lined with heavy chol. He felt like he was shooting promotional stills for a porno. Instead he was taking part in a risque shoot for Vogue all about shoes and embracing your inner animal. No matter how different that animal may be.

Every year Vogue did something to show the masses that you didn't have to be a cat or a rabbit to get into fashion or to feel good about yourself. It didn't stop the industry from being dominated by cats and rabbits, but it gave people hope. It had certainly helped Kurt from time to time. When Isabelle had asked him to be a part of this years event he had agreed without thought. Oh if only he had asked for details first. This year's event wasn't a runway show or a charity dinner. It wasn't a music video or a concert. This year Vogue decided to do nearly nude calendars. Where's the fashion in that you ask? The shoes. Isabelle and the others at Vogue justified this soft core porn shoot by saying the focus was on the shoes when the focus was very clearly on the swell of Kurt's butt and the upturn of his snout.

The man behind the camera, a bored looking beaver, kept telling Kurt to twist and own the light. He urged Kurt to arch his back and turn up his face so that the peak of his snout drew the eye back to his eyes. Pout your lips more Kurt. Push out your butt. No, no, not like that. This isn't a mail order bride catalog. Stretch and show off your stomach. Stretch, stretch, ARCH. Beautiful. Showcase the apple. Use the pillows. Not once did he mention the boots. Which, Kurt had to admit, where gorgeous. But Isabelle was sitting off to the side, watching the pictures come up on the computer. She didn't have any objections. Against his better judgment Kurt let himself be guided by the photographer. He trusted Isabelle to do the right thing, to only choose something tasteful.

It didn't make him any more comfortable in these underwear though. Kurt huffed and pulled the fabric down farther on his butt. Then he had to adjust it back up a little and ended up just scooting off the bed altogether to fix it. He completely ignored the photographer. He was an intern, not a model. Two seconds after he was up people crowded in his space, plucking at his underwear and fussing with his hair. Kurt took several deep breaths through his nose and tried to keep calm. He thought he was doing pretty good too, until someone grabbed his tail. Kurt beat down the instinctual squeal, and was only half successful. The makeup woman jumped back and Kurt kicked off the boots. Barefoot he stomped over to his yoga pants and hoodie, yanking them both on. Then he was storming out of the shoot before Isabelle could call him back.

Face drawn in anger and feeling wound too tight, Kurt storms away from the shoot. He had ridden with Isabelle and only had his phone on him. They'd been running late and in his hurry he'd left his wallet on Isabelle's counter. They'd shared a pot of coffee before the shoot to calm Kurt's nerves. Fat lot of help that did. Kurt made it three blocks from the shoot before he stopped to tie his shoes. He was in a great neighborhood, Upper East Side. It was all pent houses and mansions. Kurt hoped to live here some day. Preferably with Blaine at his side and a couple of Broadway shows under his belt. Or at least a runway show.

Kurt allowed himself a few moments to look around in peace. It was remarkably quiet. Probably something the residents paid extra for. With a sigh Kurt looked down at himself in comparison. He was in yoga pants and a hoodie. He was wearing his workout shoes. He was a pig way out of his comfort zone. Kurt pulled his hood up over his head to shield his face. Inside his pocket he clutched his phone like a lifeline. Then he looked down at his feet and made his way towards downtown. He didn't think he'd make it too far before Isabelle found him. But he could at least attempt to keep some dignity. He was a New Yorker now. A little walk wouldn't kill him.

And he was right. The walk wasn't so bad. The subway had even been blissfully empty of beggars and perverts. He was not so lucky when he got home. Rachel had found out about the shoot. Or more accurately her nosy possible drug dealer boyfriend had found out about the shoot and blabbed. Honestly Kurt was surprised Santana hadn't been the one to let the cat out of the bag so to speak. She was sitting off to the side like she was watching a particularly interesting play.

"I can not BELIEVE that you would—"

"Shut up Rachel. Just SHUT UP."

"Don't tell her to shut up!"

"Don't even start with me Duce Bigalo." From there everyone was yelling at everyone, even Santana who had jumped in to defend Kurt the second things turned on Brody. Everyone was screaming. Rachel started in on the photo shoot then she touched on every minute, miniscule thing she ever wanted to yell about and let loose. She raged about how Kurt decorated the apartment and how he didn't share food. She yelled about his classes and his relationships with his professors. Then she yelled about his job. Apparently she didn't find it fair at all that he was working at Vogue while she was stuck as a waitress in a coffee house that wouldn't let her use the mic.

"You're so high and mighty when you talk to me that you can't see that you're spiraling out of control. New York eats gays up and spits them out. The least you could do is not whore yourself out along the way. Have some sense. You're a pig for God's sake." It was clear by the look in Rachel's eyes that she wasn't fully there with them. She was stuck somewhere in her rage and on her craft. Kurt could practically see her trying to imagine a script in her eyes. It wasn't enough to save her though. Even Brody seemed to recognize that she'd gone too far. Kurt's face relaxed as he pushed all of his emotions deep down inside. He tilted his jaw up, showing off his snout just like the photographer had taught him.

"Get out."

Rachel blinked. Her fired quelled and she looked at Kurt in fear. "Kurt, I'm paying rent—"

"Get out. Go stay with Brody. Crawl back in bed with Finn. Sleep in the dance room at NYADA. I don't care where you go." Kurt turned away from her, brushing past a quiet Santana, and took down the partition separating Rachel's room from the rest of the flat. Then he went behind his curtain and laid in bed. His phone was still in his hoodie pocket. He clutched it to his chest while Rachel packed and cried. It was a decision long time coming. When he'd first moved to New York he was in desperate need of a roommate to split the cost of rent. He was scared and alone in a big new city. Rachel was the perfect solution. But she was selfish. She only thought about herself, she didn't know how to budget anything, and she was constantly jabbing at his shaky self-esteem. With Santana living with him there was really no need to keep Rachel there. As annoying and invasive as Santana could be, she'd been remarkably helpful and understanding while in New York. Getting away from Lima had been good for her.

When their front door shut and the shuffling stopped Kurt pressed the phone to his mouth and let himself cry. He cried until his tears rolled into his ears and his head ached. Then he called Blaine. His bouncing ball of energy answered with a cheerful hello and immediately started babbling about the goings on in glee club. He and Sam were trying to raise more money for prom. Which was leaning towards a 1950's theme. Kurt let out a watery chuckle and pressed his knuckle to his lips. He wanted Blaine to keep talking about flapper dresses and Sam's growing collection of tear away clothes. But the damage was done. There was no way he'd ignore the sound of tears in Kurt's ears.

"What's the matter?"

Kurt's lip trembled. He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out of his mouth slowly. The sound of it rushed past the phone and had Blaine on the edge of his seat. "I kicked Rachel out." Blaine makes a noise. Kurt isn't sure if it's sad or surprised. "We argued. She said something and...it was just..."

"Enough."

Kurt huffed out a breath and cleared his sticking throat. "Yeah." For a while they just listened to each other breath. Every now and then Kurt would hear rustling like Blaine was adjusting himself on the bed. More than anything he wished Blaine could be in his bed. He wanted to cuddle up against his boyfriend and trade little kisses. He wanted to bump his lips on Blaine's huge teeth and rub his thumb over Blaine's fluffy little tail.

The sound of a door, small and quiet through the speakers of Kurt's phone. Blaine didn't say anything but Kurt knew it meant Blaine had to go. A sob escaped Kurt's lips and he started crying again. "Oh honey no. No, no. It's going to be okay. We'll see each other soon. Next weekend."

"Y...you're coming next weekend?"

"Spring break. I've been saving for months to get a ticket. I wanted it to be a surprise but..."

"I love you. So much."

Kurt could almost see the smile on Blaine's face, the way his eyes got all big and shiny. "I love you too Kurt. We're going to Skype tomorrow. Maybe watch a movie together." Kurt agreed and reluctantly let Blaine hang up. He laid there for a while, swaddling himself in his blankets and drying his tears on his pillow. Kurt staid like that until his phone rang again. He answered it eagerly, expecting to hear Blaine's happy voice. Instead he heard a very cautious Isabelle.

"I thought you might need some space."

"Yeah."

Isabelle sighed and Kurt heard her tapping her nails on something. "I didn't know you'd be that uncomfortable Kurt. You should have told me. Your job isn't going anywhere. Do you know why I hired you?"

"My impeccable fashion sense?"

"Well yes, of course. But your honesty too. You are _so _honest. In this industry there are so many people ready to kiss my ass I don't know who I should tell to pucker up next. But not you."

Kurt smirked and kicked his legs until they were free from the tangle of his blankets. "What does that have to do with anything."

"I thought you were honest about everything. When you said you were okay with doing the shoot I thought you meant it."

"It wasn't the shoot. It was the...it was me. About me being a pig...it's just...a sore spot. I was so sure I'd be a cat. When I found out I wasn't I had a really hard time."

Isabelle made a noise like an upset mother. Kurt could picture her golden ears lowering against her head in sadness. It made something curl in Kurt's stomach. In a lot of ways she was very much like his mother. "You shouldn't be ashamed of being a pig Kurt. You're smart. You're fashionable. And it may make you a little uncomfortable to hear it but if you were straight and I were a few years younger I have to admit that I'd make a hell of a go for you." She starts laughing near the end but Kurt knows she's being genuine. She thinks he's attractive. She's said as much several times during their meetings. But he doesn't usually pay her much mind. She's a nice woman. "Kurt."

"Hm?"

"I don't get final say on that calendar. My boss saw you and asked you to be in the calendar. The big bosses have even asked me how tall you are. They want you to model. The photographer wanted you to model. The make up girls. Trust me on this. You are a gift of beauty, pig or not."

"Thank you."

"Any time. Now what else has got you down? The Kurt Hummel I know would have put this all behind him with the flick of a scarf by now."

Kurt wants to confess about what Rachel said. But Isabelle is his boss. As friendly as they are together Kurt can't bring himself to regale her with woes of his pregnant selfish roommate. So he tells her no and that he'll see her bright and early tomorrow. She tells him a mock up of the calendar will be ready by the time Blaine comes to visit. Not in so many words, but Kurt does the math quick enough. He'll have to take a good long hard look at his copy before he decides whether or not to show it to Blaine. Not that he can't just buy one himself.

Oh dear God. He was in his underwear taking photos for a calendar that's going to be sold. People are going to buy it. For a whole month people are going to be able to look at his nearly naked body. People are going to judge him and objectify him and...oh dear sweet lord he did not think things through. Kurt shot up on his bed, eyes wide. His father was in congress and he was taking graphic photos for sale. He was going to become one of those sad public stories about teenagers out of control wasn't he? Or worse he'd become the object of someone's creepy obsession. What if Karofsky bought one? Kurt groaned and collapsed back on the bed, wiggling on his front until he was in the center.

His curtains rustled to the side. The smell of a spicy perfume wafted under Kurt's nose. "Let's get chip faced."

Kurt rolled over onto his back and cast a bored look over at Santana. "What?"

"Chip faced, Shit Faced's girlier and less appealing cousin. There's two and a half pints of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer and we're going to eat it all."

Kurt groaned and threw his arm over his face. "I don't want to act like a pig right now."

Santana tutted and grabbed Kurt by his yoga pants and tugged. He nearly fell completely out of bed. Kurt didn't bother holding back his squeal and snuffles. "We're not eating because you're a pig. We're eating because Rachel is a cow. Come on." Santana prodded and bumped at him until he agreed to get up. He huffed and puffed but by the time he had a tub of Chubby Hubby in his hands he was feeling better. Santana was next to him with some Funky Monkey. The half finished pint was not Ben and Jerry's but some obscure organic vegan brand that they planned to share and devour out of spite.

Together with their ice cream they made it though "The Money Pit" before Kurt thought about his day again. "Do you think I made a mistake?"

Santana propped her feet up on the table then yanked bits of her tail out from under Kurt's butt. She jabbed her spoon aggressively into her now empty pint and shook her head. "You're an adult Kurt. I've watch you grow from a sexless cabbage patch doll into a confident gay sex symbol. What you did was for charity. And I'm sure it was tasteful. Your boss is like a soccer mom okay. Don't worry about little miss bitter."

Kurt nods. Coming from Santana it feels like salvation. She's not one to mince words, especially about something like this. If she thought she could one up him on this, come out the better example of a person she would. But she said it was no big thing. She made him feel a little empowered by his decision. So what if Karofsky bought his calendar? What were his chances of even coming across one? He didn't exactly troll the Vogue homepage looking for twinks. And his dad wouldn't care. Isabelle would pick a tasteful photo. And it was for charity. All the proceeds went to help teens get through their transformations. Like kids who get kicked out or need operations to adapt to life post transformation. Kurt was growing up. He wasn't that scared chubby faced bullied kid anymore. He was an out and proud New Yorker with a wonderful job and a great body.

For the next week Kurt pushed the calendar from his mind. Isabelle tried to tease him about it from time to time over coffee. He moved from furious blushing to good natured eye rolls. He still felt intimidated. Every time he tried to come to peace with it in his mind a little thought popped up that reminded him he hadn't actually seen the picture. Or heard what anyone thought about it for that matter. And speaking of not hearing anything, Rachel had yet to call or stop back by the apartment. As much as it stung, it was a blessing. It was better for everyone that they had a clean break. Kurt wasn't one hundred percent on Brody but he knew that Rachel wouldn't let herself live in subpar conditions. If things went south she'd call her dads and cry in an instant.

With so many things occupying his mind it came as no real shock that he'd forgotten what day Blaine would arrive. He just barely made it to the airport in time to pick him up. Out of breath and red faced Kurt opened his arms and was immediately assaulted by a hyperactive rabbit. Blaine wrapped his arms and legs around him and clung. He smelt like coffee and books and something Kurt could only think of as Lima. "I missed you."

Blaine tucked his face closer into Kurt's neck, his nose twitching and rubbing across the skin there. "I missed you too. So much." Together they shared a quiet moment, holding each other and letting the crowds pass by without a thought. When they broke apart it wasn't because someone said something nasty. It was because they were ready. Hand in hand Kurt led Blaine through the airport and out into a taxi. Blaine tactfully didn't bring up the new rooming situation, instead keeping things in the vein of music or people back home. During the car ride Kurt discovered that even with most of the original members gone glee still proved to be a chaotic pool of incessant dating and squabbling.

"Well, this is it." Kurt dropped Blaine's duffel to the floor and spread his arms out in presentation. Santana was out at the moment, probably still picking up things to decorate her area of the apartment with. Kurt watched Blaine take it all in, his ears and tail ruffling in curiosity.

"Kurt...this is amazing. It's so much better than in Skype."

Kurt wrings his hands together and bobs his nose. "It's not much I know. Not the really the glamorous—" Kurt stopped. Blaine was pressed against his front laying little kisses all across his face. The feel of overly large teeth made him smile.

"It's amazing. Really. Completely glamorous and very Kurt Hummel." Blaine held onto the sides of Kurt's face and went in for a quick kiss. Kurt relaxed into it and ended up pulling Blaine to the couch for a proper make out. They lost themselves in the feel of each other, warm bodies and wriggling tails. Kurt indulged in sucking on Blaine's upper lip and Blaine reacquainted himself with the sensitive spots along Kurt's neck. They breathed heavy and rubbed together. They let their hands wander and their hips rut. It built and built into a frenzy until they were sagging together against the couch in a tired heap.

Far from letting the lethargy ruin their evening, they turned their attention to the DVR. Kurt had hours of trash tv stored up for them to watch together. For the next couple of hours they sat tucked into each other and watched big haired woman scream at each other and try on shoes. It was the most fun Kurt had had in a while.

During a break where Blaine was furiously digging through Kurt's cabinets for something suitably crunchy to snack on, someone knocked on the door. Kurt passed behind Blaine, running his palms across Blaine's lower back and kissing his neck. "I'll get it. Try the top self behind the bags of gummy bears." Kurt hurried to the door, hoping it wasn't Rachel or Brody. His day was going so well. It would be just like them to swoop in and ruin it. Kurt opened the door with a forced grin and promptly relaxed. The vengeful ghost of roommates past wasn't knocking on his door. It was a gangly bike messanger with a manilla envelope.

"Mr. Kurt Hummel?"

"That'd be me." The bike messenger nodded and kept going, probably along with the music coming from his headphones. He held out a signing pad. On his wrist was a wring of feathers. Kurt tried to discreetly look around his body to check what kind of bird he was. Far from being offended, the messenger cocked his hips to the side showing off a plum of ostrich feathers. How fitting. Kurt smiled and wiggled his snout in return then handed back the tablet.

"You have a nice day now." Kurt took the manila envelope and told him to do the same. It wasn't as heavy as it looked. He flipped it over on it's front and saw Isabelle's scrawling hand. It was the calendar. It had to be. Kurt hugged the package to his chest and scurried over to the couch. He sat with the envelope held to his chest. In no time at all Blaine was skipping back into the living room and bouncing back onto the couch. In his hands was a bowl of cheddar chex mix.

"Ooh, what's that?"

"Ah well..." Kurt fiddled with the edges of the envelope. "I did a little favor for Isabelle. I volunteered to have my photo taken and well..." Kurt opened up the envelope and slowly slid out the calendar. Beside him Blaine made an excited noise and set aside the bowl.

"You're in the Inner Animal Appreciation calendar?"

Kurt's head snapped to the side. He hadn't mentioned the photo shoot or the calendar to Blaine. Ever. "Yeah. I'm February I think. Maybe March." Kurt passed it along to Blaine, mouth open. "How?"

Blaine stroked his fingers over the glossy cover of the calendar. It simply said _Vogue. Free Your Inner Animal_. At Kurt's question Blaine looked up. There was a small smile on his face and his eyes were soft. "I keep up with ."

"Really?"

"Well besides the fact that I've had a Vogue subscription since I was six, I have a _personal_ interest in the website."

Kurt smirked and slid closer to Blaine. "Is that so?"

"Hm. My very sexy boyfriend works there. Maybe you've seen him? Read his column?"

Kurt giggles and lightly smacks Blaine on the arm. Then he hooks his chin on his shoulder and nudges him to open the calendar. He still hasn't seen himself yet. They had done so many poses Kurt wasn't even sure he could ballpark a guess. January was a dark skinned Indian man with amazing curls. He was a snow hare. His white fur stood out starkly against his skin and the dark blue nightclub background he was standing in. Kurt and Blaine both made an appreciative noise and lingered probably a little longer than necessary. Unlike Kurt, he'd been wearing a rather tiny speedo. He was wearing calve height white boots. Not a traditionally male choice but Kurt could see himself wearing them. When Blaine finally shook his head and turned the page it was like freeing themselves from hypnosis.

February was Kurt. It was startling, seeing himself sprawled out like that. He was partially off the bed, like he was sliding out. He was on his stomach, looking over his raised shoulder. His nose was delicately turned up and you could see the smallest hints of his pout. The way he was supporting himself made his arm muscles bulge and the vein there stand out. You could just barely see the apple clutched in his fist through the crumpled silver bedspread. His one leg was drawn up, letting the light catch his black ankle boot. The sight of it however, was dwarfed by Kurt's butt with was so very round and about to spill out of the clingy pink boyshorts. Kurt was at least happy to see that they matched the pink of his nose wonderfully. He tilted his head to the side, really looking at himself. If he could just block out his face he would have drooled over it just like Mr. January.

"It's..."

"You're so beautiful." Blaine was breathy when he spoke, like it was a precious secret. It made Kurt blush fiercely.

"Well...no, I look o—"

Blaine turned, calendar still in hand, until he could face Kurt properly. "You're amazing. You look...God Kurt you look like you're in some GQ spread. It's...how did I get so lucky?" Blaine took Kurt's face in his hands. He pressed kiss after kiss to Kurt's slack mouth, urging him for more. When Kurt felt Blaine's too large teeth clamp on his bottom lip and tug he whimpered. Kurt let out a breath and leaned forward, cupping Blaine's elbows and back with his hands then pushing forward until they were prone on the couch. The calendar slid to the floor forgotten for the moment.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

Originally this was suppose to be pretty funny. But I got into a huge fight with my mom and well I'm not feeling very humorous. But I think the calendar will pop up again. Sorry that I don't actually have any art to go along with the description. If I were a better artist I'd give it a go but I don't want to balls it up.


	9. All Mud Not Created Equal

**Title:** All Mud Not Created Equal

**Summary:** Kurt agonizes over the thought of a mud bath.

**Rating:** PG

**Words:** 3,298

**A/N:** I'm going to need to put another R one out soon.

0o0o0o0o0o

Mud and Kurt Hummel did not go together. There was a group of people who were actually pretty sure it must be written in stone somewhere. Somewhere beautiful like a mountaintop or somewhere classy like a villa in the French country side. But regardless of location, it had to be somewhere. Because Kurt Hummel did not do mud. He just didn't. Even as a child he'd been cautious of messes and filth, so much so that it drove even his mother a little batty. Since his transformation into a pig his penchant for cleanliness had increased two fold. People already looked down on him for looking like a pig, he wasn't going to prove their assumptions right by acting like one.

It was truly a blessing that Blaine understood him wholeheartedly. A lesser man would have thrown in the towel a long time ago and found a nice, more mainstream, animal to settle down with. Mercedes was not so understanding. The two of them were falling apart at the seams. Kurt had originally thought it started with Mercedes' transformation and his unwillingness to listen to her at ever hour about how much it sucked. When he'd turned into a pig she made no effort to hide how much she saw as some sort of cosmic retribution. Even after things had settled down there were moments when it was clear she took at least a small amount of joy from his discomfort. It stung. Mercedes had been Kurt's first real friend, his best friend. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized the transformation wasn't their first strain. First and foremost was the crush fiasco back in sophmore year, then Quinn had moved in and sucked up all her time, then the Great Religion Fall Out had reared it's ugly head.

No, their relationship wasn't meant to last. And if he hadn't been thinking about all of that before, this sealed it. Mercedes had made a great to do about her birthday gift to Kurt, claiming it was one for the ages. Kurt, so eager to believe the best of his bestie, hadn't given her praises a negative thought. So when the time came at his party to open gifts he saved hers for last and bounced around in his seat like a child until he had the present in his hands. It had been an envelope, an off white parchment style paper. At Mercedes' insistence he opened it with great care and pulled out a spa certificate. For a full day of mud treatment. Mud masks, mud massages, a mud bath, and there in the corner was a seal showing that she'd opted to add the all you can eat buffet lunch option.

With clenched teeth Kurt had thanked her for the spa day and set it aside. He refused to speak to her for the rest of the evening and had since avoided her like the plague at school. Blaine, ever the perfect boyfriend, had joined him in freezing Mercedes out. The spa day passes were sitting on his dresser collecting dust. The date wasn't set until Spring Break so Kurt had some time to figure out what exactly he was going to do with them. He'd been to that spa before, pre-transformation obviously. He had still been baby faced then too. But he remembered the plaque behind the counter that stated all returns must be made in person. Kurt wasn't really prepared to face that humiliation. He should just throw them away, or burn them, but Kurt can't resist the thought that some day he'll need them for something. To prove what Mercedes did.

The days slipped by in a rush of glee dramatics and pop quizzes from frazzled teachers until at last it was spring break. Mercedes had gradually come to realize that Kurt was ignoring her and not just missing her. She'd taken it with a bit more grace than Kurt had expected but it probably had more to do with the ammunition Kurt had on her than anything. For now it seemed she was content to let things lie. With a heavy heart Kurt picked up the envelope holding the passes and sat on his bed. He could always use them. He could face the spa just like he had the prom. But he was reluctant. At the moment only Blaine and Mercedes were witness to his humiliation. Showing up at the spa wouldn't prove anything to the staff, other than confirming the stereotype that pigs loved mud.

Maybe he could exchange the package. He could tell the clerk that the gift was a joke and plead. Pig nose or not he could still rock the wounded kitten look. If he worked himself up just right he could woo a young lady into feeling sorry enough for an exchange. And with two passes he could spend a whole day with Blaine being pampered. Kurt took a few deep breaths and texted Blaine his plan. Just as he expected, Blaine thought it was a wonderful idea. He had kind of been hoping for Blaine to turn it down, then at least he could convince himself it was a better idea to trash them. But with a viable plan there was no reason to toss them. After everything that had been happening lately a spa day sounded heavenly.

So in what seemed like no time at all Kurt found himself standing in a spa lobby with his boyfriend, staring down a bored looking lemur. Maybe Kurt had a little bit of a bitch face on, but he was nervous and the poor girl was wearing a ribbon on the tip of her tail. Like a common poodle. What on Earth was she thinking? "Full day mud treatment and lunch?"

"That's us." Kurt raised his nose and looked down at the clerk defiantly, daring her to say something rude about his animal. To his immense relief she remained as bored and disinterested as ever, paying them barely any mind. It was entirely possible that she didn't even know what kind of hybrids they were, her nose was so far buried into her computer.

"Okay, take these arm bands. The locker room is on your right. After you change follow this hallway until you get to the purple door. When you're done there they'll tell you where to go next." She waved vaguely to her left and slid them two paper armbands, similar to the ones you get at water parks. Blaine thanked her enthusiastically then all but skipped to the locker room, his hand tight around Kurt's. His smile was infectious. By the time they were in the locker room slipping on robes Kurt was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Blaine was wiggling into a pair of very short, very tight navy blue swim shorts. He looked like he belonged in a swimsuit catalog from the seventies. Kurt put on some slightly more tasteful beige short trunks that fell to mid thigh. Once they were sure their tails were in the proper place and their robes were fastened tightly they clasped hands and made their way to the purple door.

It was the mud bath room. There was only one other person there, an old woman who looked more dead than alive. The periodic twitches of her fingers against her glass of lemonade was the only sign of life. "Let's go way over there." Kurt herded Blaine over to the far corner of the room. From their spot they'd be able to watch the door and the television that was playing some reality show on mute. Kurt wasn't sure what it was but they looked like they were from Jersey. Maybe it was about nails. Maybe hair. He couldn't really focus on it.

The mud itself was relaxing. It was warm and thick. Lying in it made him feel like he was swaddled in warmth. Or floating. It was a nice feeling if he didn't think about it being mud. Beside him Blaine was relaxing in his own little mud tub. There was a small smile on his face but he looked worried. Worried for Kurt and his nerves. Kurt flashed him a smile and shook his head to clear the bad thoughts. They were at a spa. The only people here were the bored employees and old drunk women. They would be fine. Kurt would be fine. Even pigs deserved to treat themselves. On that thought Kurt let himself relax into the treated mud. It smelt like sea salt and maybe a little bit of bitter chocolate. The temperature was wonderful, enough to sooth all of his muscles, but not enough to make his face over heated. Even Blaine was enjoying himself. His ears were hanging limply, the tips dipping into the mud. His face was relaxed, his mouth open just enough to show off a little of his giant front teeth.

By the time an employee came to move them to the next room both of them were on the verge of nodding off. Groggily they climbed out and slumped to the little showers to rinse off for lunch. Blaine's ears remained flopped over and loose, just barely swinging with him as he walked. More than once Kurt reached out to smooth the fur and play with the tips. He was always met with a smile and a lazy tail wiggle. He was thankful that Blaine was aware enough to not draw any attention to his pig features. No one else had yet and he wanted to keep the trend going. Lunch itself was great. They were put into a private room instead of in a cafeteria. There were two tables pushed together and laden with food. Kurt found himself eating a little bit of everything. Like always, he put away more than Blaine, but he didn't feel like he made a significant dent.

"All finished sirs?" This employee was a tiny blond thing, barely taller than Rachel. She looked like she weighed one hundred pounds soaking wet. She was a bird. Kurt couldn't tell exactly what kind, but she had a plum of brownish-red feathers coming from the back of her skirt. When they were able to tell her that they were indeed well past finished she smiled brightly and lead them to another room. She chattered the whole way, pointing out paintings and statues and telling about the interesting guests they sometimes got. Blaine bounced along with her, adding anecdotes when he could and constantly looking back at Kurt to keep him engaged. It was adorable really.

When they finally came to the massage room the girl quieted down. Blaine passed by her first, his now dry trunks rustling as he hopped onto the table. As Kurt passed by her to lie next to Blaine he could feel her eyes on him. She was fixed on his nose. There was no denying the rapt attention she was giving it, like she'd never seen a pig before. Not wanting to ruin the light mood Blaine had created with the girl, Kurt said nothing and laid on his own table without another word. His arms were tense at his sides. He could hide his nose in the round pillow but his tail was still out in the open, his curly flesh colored tail.

"Kurt. _Kurt_. They're coming. An otter and a rat." Blaine's voice coaxed Kurt to turn his head and look back. The rat masseuse was no looker. He'd feel a little better if that's who he got. At least if she made a comment Kurt would know she didn't have a leg to stand on. Blaine must have read his mind because he held his hand out for the squat little otter woman. She was older and very short but her face was kind. And her hands looked very strong. With his face still squished to the side of the pillow Kurt murmured his hello to his masseuse. He received a worn smile in return before he was instructed to lie down properly.

The massage was heavenly. The room was filled with the sound of Kurt and Blaine groaning and sighing as the women dug their hands into knots and valleys along their back. Kurt felt like he would melt through the table to the floor. Not once did the masseuse make a comment about his tail. Nor did she shy away from his lower back to avoid touching it. The whole experience was pure bliss. Not even the little bird girl could ruin this moment. By the time the massage was done the two of them were boneless and unable to turn over for the facialist. They both laid there limply until the woman came and prodded them onto their backs one at a time. Kurt was rolled first. He went with a small noise of discontent, which Blaine giggled at.

More than once the facialist checked to make sure Kurt hadn't actually fallen asleep during the application of the mud. Though he felt close to it, Kurt was still awake. He was just in that weird state where you felt like you were asleep or dreaming but you weren't. The mud smelled like lavender and something floral. It wasn't anything that was going to keep him awake. Blaine wasn't doing much better. When the woman moved to him he could hear Blaine rocking against the table to adjust his nub of a tail. Then it was quiet. An occasional snuffle from Kurt or sigh from Blaine would break up the silence but it was serene. They were left alone for quite some time with only the humidifier and each other to keep them company.

"Are you going to thank Mercedes?" Blaine's voice was tentative and soft. Like he was afraid his question would ruin the soft heavenly atmosphere they'd created around themselves. It almost did. Kurt certainly wasn't as comfortable as he had been before Blaine asked. His mind had been blissfully quiet. Now he couldn't stop thinking. Should he thank her? It was true that he'd enjoyed his visit, but it was also true that Mercedes had meant it as a joke. If he thanked her she might think she'd gotten away with something very clever and cruel. If he didn't thank her she might hound him down for not being grateful. Or something. With Mercedes there was always a problem to be had. Not that he didn't love her. He did. She was his first friend. But she was so finicky. And very vindictive.

"Maybe. Maybe I don't have to. She gave them to me forever ago. She probably thinks I threw them away." She probably did. Since receiving the passes he hadn't mentioned them to her. Or talked to her much at all. Maybe he could just let the whole thing slide away and it would die. Kurt tried to go back to the blissful half sleep state he was in before but it wouldn't come. He didn't blame Blaine. It was something he needed to think about. And it was probably better that Kurt wasn't half asleep just before he needed to get behind the wheel. Kurt heaved a deep sigh and tried to bring himself around a little more. Just in time too. The woman was back to clean off their faces and usher them back to the locker room. On the way they passed by the bird girl again. Rather than face her Kurt tucked himself to Blaine's side and occupied himself with his boyfriend's hand.

They changed back into their clothes with quite a bit of fanfare and teasing. They traced each others stomachs and tugged on each others tails, all between sweet chaste kisses and lingering looks. One of the benefits to going during the middle of the week was the lack of other people. On the down side Kurt had to work an extra shift at the garage for free as "punishment" for skipping school. Blaine was getting off scott free. His little minx of a boyfriend was a miracle worker where his parents were concerned. "Oh God. Oh God. Stop. Stop stop stop stop. _Blaine_, stop it." Kurt's smile was wide and his pleas for Blaine to still his questing hands was giggled out with a high whine. They had to get out of here before someone came investigating. As intent as Kurt was to not come back he didn't actually want to be banned from the spa. "We have to _leeeave_." At Blaine's pout Kurt grabbed both of his hands and gave a mock pout of his own, then tugged him into a hug. He rubbed his nose into Blaine's curly hair and snorted happily.

"Fine, fine. Let's go." Blaine sighed and shook his head like Kurt was doing him a great injustice. The happy wiggle in his tail gave him away though. Not that Kurt was worried. At the pace they were going Blaine was very likely to get lucky back at the house. It'd been too long honestly. After getting a taste of a pigs extended orgasm a hunger built up inside of him like he'd never felt before. Sex was amazing. Honest and truly. Kurt tilted his head back and smiled, following Blaine blindly though the lobby.

"Pardon me. Sir?" It was the bird girl. Kurt turned and kept his face neutral. If she was making an effort to be civil he could too. It stood at this point that she hadn't actually been mean, just a little rude. Just a touch.

"Yes?"

"Could you take a picture with me?"

Kurt's face screwed up, his snout twisting up and wrinkling the bridge of his nose. He was appalled. He'd never had anyone so disgusted by his face they had to have a photo of him. It was ridiculous. How could this girl just come up to him, at a place of business, and ask for his photo for some wall of shame? "_Excuse me_?"

"I'm sorry. It's just, you know I'm such a fan."

"Of what exactly?" Kurt took a step forward, arms crossed over his chest. Behind him Blaine was watching sadly, his eyes wide and his mouth open.

"Lisa Fonssagrives. I have her first Vogue cover and all of her most popular prints. I even have a few of her early ones, before she hit it big. You have the same bone structure. It's amazing." The bird girl was breathless with excitement. She was blushing and fidgeting with the slim black camera in her hands. Kurt couldn't believe it. Someone wanted his picture. For good reasons. Someone thought he was attractive. Someone other than his loving, steadfast boyfriend.

Kurt let a rush of breath out all at once and answered "Okay." He squealed and bounced along with the bird girl, Jessica she said. They took several photos. Some with their faces squished together. Some with Kurt making classic model faces. Some with exaggerated ANTP poses with Blaine at his side. Before the impromptu shoot ended Kurt and Blaine planted kisses on her cheeks. She posted that photo immediately to her facebook.

"You have no idea how much this means to me." Jessica preened over the camera and sent them each a genuine smile. Blaine clucked his tongue and tucked his head the side, eyes fond. Kurt stepped close to her and bopped his snout against her cheek.

"You have no idea how much that meant to _me_. Thank you."

When the two of them finally made it out to the car, long after they were suppose to leave, Kurt texted Mercedes a simple 'thanks'. It didn't really matter if she knew what it was for.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Am I hating too much on Mercedes? I don't know. Sometimes I love her and sometimes I kind of hate her. I started this one when I was in one of my moods. And omg why are all of these so angsty? Some of you sent me nice happy prompts. I'm going to have to do one of those next.


	10. Act II

**Title:** Act II

**Summary:** Rachel Berry finally comes into her own.

**Rating:** G

**Words:** 1,947

**A/N:** Oh I wish this had been longer.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

Rachel Berry was an individual. She was extraordinary. She was talented. She was a one of a kind star, shining bright even in the dank bowels of New York City. She was also still fully human. At twenty five she was still without a single animal trait to her name. At first it was a blessing. She was the only student in NYADA fit to play the young human roles. Anyone else would have to hide their traits with clever costumes or make up. It gave her an edge. It made her memorable. It made her an outcast.

Kurt was sympathetic but they didn't see much of each other anymore. He was busy living the domestic life with Blaine. And in her time at NYADA she hadn't made any friends like she'd made at McKinley. No matter how friendly she tried to be there was always still an edge of uneasiness around her. She unsettled people. The fact was that people without animal traits in their twenties were a rarity. She was starting to think she'd never get her traits. It was very disheartening. And she was moving out of song material territory into 'depressed eternal spinster' territory. Having a child wasn't helping. She adored Aubrey, there was no doubt there. But after all this time Rachel could finally understand Quinn's disdain and frustration. Having Aubrey made her life more difficult. Her acting career was touch and go, a constant tug and pull between her unique appearance and her unforgiving schedule. More than once she found herself wishing she had never had a baby at all.

Being pregnant at a preforming arts school had put her at a serious disadvantage. Moreso than her appearance. She'd had to take a break from the physically demanding classes, shoving them all into her last year. It had nearly broken her body and her spirit. Her exuberant pace had slowed more and more until she wasn't ahead of the herd anymore, but lopping awkwardly behind just barely able to keep up. She'd graduated. But not with honors. No glowing recommendations. No Broadway scouts knocking on her door. Just one smiling baby in the hands of her father. It had been bittersweet, knowing her dream had to suffer to see her daughter prosper.

Rachel was nothing if not resilient though. She held her head high every day. Even when the rest of the world shied away from her. Even when Brody left her. Even when she went back to her tiny apartment and saw nothing but a human in every mirror. Currently she worked at a dinner theater. It was mediocre at best and a little soul crushing. But her boss was nice and she got to take home a lot of leftover food. At this point in her life she was content. Not truly happy in the way she wanted to be, but content. That was the best you could ask for really. How many people were well and truly happy with their lives? Almost no one. And that didn't stop them from living fulfilling lives. So she didn't have Broadway. She had a plastic one person stage and a little girl who liked to sing on it.

Aubrey was the reason Rachel was where she was at right now. Under normal circumstances Rachel would rather chew her own leg off rather than drop her little girl off at the neighbors. But today was no ordinary day. For the past week her whole body had ached. If she were still in high school she'd think she was finally coming into her traits. Now she just felt like she was at the beginning of a vicious flu. It had been going around work and she'd done her best to avoid it but germs travel. She didn't want Aubrey getting sick so to Ms. Punik's place they went. She was a bizarre older woman who had perhaps too many cats. Odder still considering she was a pigeon. But she'd never failed to take in Aubrey when Rachel asked.

Aubrey also never failed to whine about the smell. She was working on it. Rachel gathered up some toys and snacks. She still had a few little outfits at Ms. Punik's and if she somehow managed to dirty all of those they could just come over and pick up some more. When she bent down to pick up her daughter the skin between her shoulders seemed to pull tight and a stinging pain laced through the muscles there. With a wince she straightened up and held her still wriggling toddler to her chest. "Come on Aubrey, just down the hall. Who's going to have a fun time with Ms. Punik? Who's going to have a fun time with Ms. Punik?" She cooed and nuzzled her nose against Aubrey's. "You are. _You_ are." Aubrey did not seem impressed at all. More and more she was finding bits of her friends in the face of her baby. Today was shaping up to be a Kurt day. Rachel sighed and headed out of her apartment with Aubrey.

Just as she expected Ms. Punik was all too happy to take Aubrey off her hands. She was a little less willing to just let her _go and rest_. She wanted to know how Rachel was doing at work and what she had for dinner last night and if she saw the ad in the paper about the adorable little china dolls. It was the conversation that just wouldn't end. Finally Rachel turned away, just a little, enough to show through body language that she really did need to leave. It was a horrible mistake. The fraction of an inch that she turned to the left allowed the sunlight from Ms. Punik's back window to go straight into her eyes. She doubled over with a groan. It was like a thousand little needles were stabbing through her eyes and straight into her brain.

She waved off Ms. Punik's worried hands and straightened up long enough to wave goodbye to Aubrey. With a pained smile, that was more of a grimace, she hobbled back to her apartment with her hand pressed firmly over her eyes. She walked blindly through her apartment, her legs bumping into furniture and stumbling over scatted toys. When she finally made it to her bed she collapsed onto it with little more than a groan before she fell asleep. Her rest was fitful. The whole night she tossed and turned, furiously striking out across her sheets until they were a crumpled heap tangled around her sweating body.

Rachel slept through five phone calls, a drunken party in the hallway, and the fall from her bed to the floor. When she woke up her face was pressed between the hardwood of her floor and a balled up section of her sheets. Her whole back felt heavy, like she was dosed with medication. She groaned and rolled her shoulders. For a moment she had to rest her weight on her forehead before she pushed herself up and stumbled into the bathroom. She blindly felt along the wall for the light switch and flicked it on. Immediately she regretted it. Even with her eyes closed she could feel the light stinging through her lids. "Must be a migraine. This just keeps getting better and better." She flicked the light back off and felt along the counter to the toilet. Rachel didn't bother looking at herself in the mirror as she left. She knew she was a wreck. Illness never suited her.

Never one to do things by halves, Rachel groaned and fell into her bed with a great amount of fanfare. The landing had her bouncing, the motion oddly soothing to her sore muscles. With her face pressed into the cool mattress and her shoulder blades stretching this way and that she felt the best she had in the past few days. "Ooh, yes." She smiled lazily into her pillow and curled herself into a tight ball, wriggling her toes and rolling her shoulders. It felt amazing. Just amazing. Her whole body just felt _right_ somehow. For a while she just laid there, content to bask in the moment of piece. Who knew how long it would last. It could just be a lull created by wonderful synthetic drugs.

The sound of overly loud rock music woke her about two hours later. Her neighbors on the other side were in their early twenties, all college students. It was finals week probably. They were always complaining about something. After having to drop out of NYADA she tended to avoid anything having to do with college. Rachel raised herself up and stretched her back like a cat before sliding out of bed and wandering to the bathroom. Since Aubrey was with Ms. Punik there was no reason to complain about the noise. She knew all too well the therapy of loud music. As she passed through the living room she picked up her discarded pink robe and pulled it half way up her arms. She let it sag at her elbows, pooling with her giant night shirt.

She danced lightly and hummed to herself on the way to the bathroom. Her shoulders and back felt amazing, like the muscles there were so relaxed they were heavy. It was almost like the feeling you got after a very intense workout or dance session. If she was lucky she could grab Aubrey in the morning and they could share breakfast at the little vegan diner down the street. She loved their buckwheat pancakes with jam. "It's a plan my sweet little angel." She clapped her hands together and entered the bathroom with a smile. She flipped up her arms to fix her bathrobe but it slid back down straight away. "Oh come on." Rachel tutted and looked into her bathroom mirror. The smile slid from her face.

There in front of her, surrounded by star stickers and expo marker messages was a hybrid. Rachel dropped her arms to her side. Her robe slid away to the floor, unnoticed. Her nose was black and bulbous, the skin tinged dark all the way up the bridge and around her eyes and forehead. Peeking out from her disheveled hair she could see one black leathery ear. She knew without checking that the other was the same. Most of her face was gone. Her beautiful Barbra-esque look was gone, buried under a mass of pitch black skin. She whimpered and made a move to reach out towards the mirror. She stopped short when she felt a pull on her back. Her shoulders and back had felt different. It wasn't medication. It wasn't the flu. Something on her back had changed.

Slowly and cautiously Rachel pulled her night shirt up and dropped it on the floor. It puddled over her feet, fighting the cold from the tile. She could see the change. Just barely. It was just a peek with her arms down. Quietly she lifted her arms, holding them out straight and level with her shoulders. Stretched there between her upper arm and the skin along the sides of her back were two thin strips of black skin. It was stretched taught, like the webbing between some people's toes. They were halfhearted bat wings. She was a bat. She waited for years and years through ridicule and self doubt, through a pregnancy and a life of crushing loneliness to become a bat. A bat!

Rachel sank to the floor, her arms folding next to her legs and her new wings cloaking her thighs. A good cry, she thought, would be the perfect way to transition to the next act.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

So Rachel is a fruit bat. And a mildly successful play actress. Pre-transformation she got pregnant and sang at bars and coffee joints. Then she met and agent, got a bit part, and started working off-Broadway. She does okay. Post-transformation she's going to hit a little bump. After all she was making a name for herself as an entirely human actress. Now she's going to have to change her angle. But I think I may give her Elphaba. Maybe. She's suffered enough on here I think.


End file.
